# A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

sale (noun) – A word used by malls to entice consumers in buying items at a “marked-down price”; which in reality is still actually sold at its original price, but printed in a different colored price tag or affixed with a large percentage of discount into fooling customers that they are buying something at a bargain.

Santa Claus (noun– Imaginary being invented by parents to take the guesswork out of buying gifts that their child/children would actually like.

school opening (noun) – One of the few instances along with elections, Lenten break and Christmas season, when police visibility is evident.

self defense (noun) – Alibis for fifty percent (50%) of Overseas Filipino Workers (OFW) convicted of murder and is on death row abroad. (For the other half, see wrongfully accused.)

selfie (noun– Narcissistic picture taken of oneself that screams “hey, look at me!”, and oftentimes with mixed results.

sidewalk (noun – Raised pavement for pedestrians that has lost its meaning when it is occupied by vendors, barangay halls, electric posts and more vendors.

singing (verb) – Majority talent of Filipinos joining reality based talent shows.

sinigang na paa (noun) – A phrase used to describe the smell of my officemate’s foot right now. Ugggh.

smartphone (noun) – An expensive piece of technology that your friends take pictures of and share on Facebook when newly bought. After 6 months, another set of photos would be taken and shared on Facebook where they try to sell that same phone to you. As a result, they will buy the newest iteration of the phone, take pictures of it and share them on Facebook again. Rinse, repeat.

smartwatch (noun– A watch invented to compliment smartphones that users had already replaced their watches with in the first place.

smoking (verb– Inhale & exhale the smoke of tobacco in the hopes of being killed by other means or circumstances not related to cigarettes.

social media (noun)

  1. Source of news for local media outlets during “slow news day”. 
  2. Someone you ‘speak to’ during gatherings instead of, you know, people present at the gathering.

spa (noun) – Relaxation service that our ancestors never needed.

spoilers (noun) – Something your attention-seeking friend likes to share with you deliberately in order to generate some sort of reaction from you.

Spurs (noun) – One of six National Basketball Association (NBA) teams Filipinos are only familiar with. (see CelticsHeat, LakersMavericks & Thunder)

squatter (noun– Someone who lives in uncomfortable situations in unlawfully occupied land that becomes sensitive when you call them as such.

starlet (noun) – A lesser kind of actress that is not deserving of much recognition and prestige as a superstar or a megastar.

stem cell (noun) – The new ‘Glutathione’ of the cosmetic industry for the year 2013.

sticker (noun– An adhesive label that used to be printed but due to the advancement of technology, has also become digital.

stress debriefing (noun) – The feeling of pressure or tension one gets while his underwear is being removed by someone.

sun (noun) – What people ask for when it is raining hard. (see rain)

Sunday noontime variety show (noun) – A type of show aired during Sundays by major television networks in the Philippines to showcase their artists’ various talents through dancing and singing, where the latter part oftentimes ending with mixed results. Ideal for viewers who just can’t seem to get enough of their idols appearing every night on their respective daily shows.

Supreme Court (noun– Metaphorical “mommy” that powerful individuals “cry home to”, to be able to get what they want.

survey (noun)

  1. A study undertaken to put into perspective the sentiments of an entire country with a population of almost ninety five million (95,000,000) Filipinos by asking only one thousand (1,000) random people on the street, and converting the result into percentage to deceive people into thinking that it is the sentiment of the entire country.
  2. General view of something that may or may not be credible depending on whether the results are in your favor or not.

# A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

What did you think about this SATIRICAL article? Share your thoughts below.

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s