C

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campaign jingle (noun) – Song blared by a specific candidate that wakes you up every morning and in the process, reminds you not to vote for him or her.

car aficionado (noun) – That guy who deliberately revs his car engine to make a loud noise when passing a populated area in order to get attention.

car alarm (noun) – Electronic security device installed in a vehicle that goes off 99% of the time for the wrong reasons.

catholic vote (noun) – A made-up term used by the Catholic Bishops Conference of the Philippines (CBCP) to threaten politicians into swaying their legislative work to favor their religion. As real as that half-snake half-human daughter of a mall tycoon that victimizes customers inside the dressing rooms.

ceasefire (noun) – A temporary stoppage of animosity between two parties in which each side agrees with the other to suspend aggressive actions and forget whatever atrocities and accusations one might have done to the other.

Celtics (noun) – One of six National Basketball Association (NBA) teams Filipinos are only familiar with. (see Heat, LakersMavericksSpurs & Thunder)

chain letter (noun– Something a person capable of creating an email account, signing up to Facebook, upload photos, download torrents, watch videos online and other intelligent stuff on the internet, should no longer believe in, given this day and age.

check in (verb) – Facebook feature of announcing one’s arrival on posh places that users would otherwise be ashamed of announcing if it was not.

christmas (noun) – An annual celebration of Filipino’s incessant spending during the last few months of the year. Officially starts on September and ends January 3 or 4 of the next year; or when people starts coming back to work, whichever comes first.

classroom(noun – A room, typically in a school, in which a class of students is taught that due to insufficiency, may not even be a room at all.

class suspension announcement (noun) – a magical spell chanted or cast by mythical mayors during noontime to stop the raining in the afternoon.

coconut water (noun– something sold cheaply on the streets but becomes expensive when mixed with preservatives and placed inside bottles or cans.

coffee (noun) – A hot or cold drink that doesn’t need to be expensive to be fully enjoyed or appreciated.

coffee shop (noun) – A quiet & peaceful establishment outside school premises set aside for students to study & do homework in. Ordering and drinking coffee optional.

colgate (noun) – A generic term for a  thick, soft & moist substance Filipinos use on a toothbrush for cleaning their teeth.

Congress (noun) – A place where lawmakers make laws, commit suicide and now, propose to their girlfriends.

corruption (noun) – An incurable viral infection typically infecting the executive, legislative and judicial branch of the government that is marked by bulging of the head, kleptomania, and a generalized feeling of strength and power to the ego, together with varying degrees of enlargement in their respective Swiss bank accounts.

cougar (noun) – An older woman who undergoes extensive cosmetic surgery in order to attract a much younger man to seek love and happiness, but is unable to express the latter facially due to the aforementioned cosmetic surgery.

cronut (noun– Half croissant, half doughnut pastry that somebody invented after getting tired of falling in line for hours just to buy a box of doughnuts.

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One thought on “C

  1. Cyber bullying –
    1. An individual’s poorly thought, steroids-driven bashing of someone’s post through social media, when in real life can be manifested only to hapless land-based insects or stuffed toys.
    2. Therapeutic action done by cyber cowards and losers.

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