Commuters Group Proposes Modernization for Narrow-Minded LTFRB Board Members

MANILA, Philippines — Thousands of Filipino commuters trooped to the office of the Land Transportation Franchising and Regulatory Board (LTFRB) yesterday demanding the board’s immediate modernization, citing its failure to adapt to modern times. Members of the Philippine Association of Commuters Yearning for Uber’s Decisive & Efficient Legalization and Grab’s Rapid Accreditation (PACYUDELGRA) led by Don…

Pro-Duterte Bloggers’ Voices Now Available on Waze

MANILA, Philippines — Navigation app Waze finally announced their pick on who should be the first Filipino to give you turn-by-turn directions after a meticulous selection process. Waze Asia Pacific Regional Lead Wona Meng said that they have searched far and wide and found it hard to just select one, hence multiple Filipino personalities was…

LTFRB Greenlights Jeepney Driver Modernization Program

MANILA, Philippines — After over half a century, the Philippines’ “sweet lover” may soon take on an entirely new form. The Land Transportation Franchising and Regulatory Board (LTFRB) announced in a press conference that it is drafting new designs for a prototype of a modern jeepney driver. Notable changes included in the prototype design are the…

Malacañang: Duterte in Excellent Health, Just Needs Photo Op

MANILA, Philippines — As speculations on President Duterte’s health mount after not being seen for days, presidential spokesman Ernesto Abella yesterday assured the public the 72-year-old Chief Executive is in good shape. “The President is actually in excellent good health,” Abella said in a Palace briefing. “Except for the fact that whoever handles his daily activities…

Arroyo Camp Thanks SC for Allowing Her to Remove Neck Brace Forever

MANILA, Philippines — The camp of Pampanga Representative Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo is grateful to the Supreme Court after it decided with finality that the former president may no longer wear her neck brace, especially in public. Arroyo’s camp thanked the high court for upholding its decision, saying the ruling should “put an end to this neck brace nonsense.” “We…

Alvarez Files Bill Legalizing Polygamy for Lawmakers

MANILA, Philippines — House Speaker and Davao del Norte Representative Pantaleon Alvarez announced Friday that he has filed a bill seeking to legalize polygamy for male members of the House of Representatives. In his explanatory note, Alvarez said that male lawmakers should be allowed by law to exercise their masculinity by having extra-marital affairs without fear of being disbarred or accused of…

Taxi Drivers’ Group Laments Decreasing Number of Passengers Willing to be Treated Like Crap

MANILA, Philippines — Transport group Drivers Unite for the Crappy Treatment of Apathetic Passengers Everywhere (DUCTAPE) stormed to the Land Transportation Franchising and Regulatory Board (LTFRB) on Tuesday to protest the decreasing numbers of passengers they could treat like crap brought about by the increasing popularity of Transport Network Vehicle Service (TNVS) such as Grab & Uber in the country. According…