Google Translate Adds New Feature to Interpret Duterte Statements into Layman’s Terms

google-logoSILICON VALLEY, California — Web giant Google has unveiled a new version of Google Translate that employs supreme artificial intelligence to provide its best ever interpretation of Philippine President Rodrigo Duterte’s statements into accurate English.

Launched yesterday, the updated Google Translate uses ‘neural machine translation’ to give far more accurate translations of confusing Duterte statements to English.

“We are very proud to unveil this highly sought-after feature to our friends in the Philippines,” said Crispin Pamor, product lead for Google Translate. “Now, curious people need not to wait for the  Presidential Communications Office (PCO) or his cabinet members to interpret what your president said.”

According to Pamor, translating Duterte’s statements is as easy as copy-pasting the transcript and pressing a button.

 “You don’t even need to specify that what you have pasted was a statement made my Duterte,” he added. “The super artificial intelligence will automatically detect it using special calculations and algorithm only applicable to the President of the Philippines.”

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The newly improved Google Translate in action

The Google Translate mobile app clarifying Duterte's recent "separation" statement.

The Google Translate mobile app clarifying Duterte’s recent “separation” statement.

The new and improved AI-infused service is currently only available for Duterte-English translation, but is expected to be rolled out for other cabinet members including Department of Foreign Affairs (DFA) secretary Perfecto Yasay, Department of Justice (DOJ) secretary Vitallano Aguirre II and chief legal counsel Salvador Panelo.

Google is confident that if they could translate the president’s statements accurately, then translating his cabinet members would certainly be a walk in the park.

“President Duterte’s vocabulary is too intricate and seems to be on a higher level than any living human being currently in our planet,” said Pamor. “Even our resident linguists ang English majors encountered difficulties when trying to come up with the updated algorithms for this new feature.”

The tech giant also expressed their willingness to update their Google Maps app for the Filipino people, if and when the current administration decides to hand over Panatag Shoal to the Chinese.

13 thoughts on “Google Translate Adds New Feature to Interpret Duterte Statements into Layman’s Terms

  1. TO ALL CHILDREN OF PARENTS WHO HAVE DIVORCED OR SEPARATED

    You are a victim of rebalancing. Whatever that means. Ask Pernia or Andanar.

    Which makes me think, Duterte rebalanced with Ms Zimmerman by going to Honeylet. Maybe Inday and Paolo and Baste understands this, I am so confused.

  2. The feature should also include subjective interpretations by the Inquirer, Rappler and ABS CBN news. Example: Duterte – “I announce my separation from the United States both in military but economic also’…”
    Inquirer, Rappler and ABS CBN News – “I declare war on the United States asap! As in now na!”

  3. Pingback: Google Translate Adds New Feature to Interpret Duterte Statements into Layman’s Terms – Xani

  4. I think we should follow Agot Isidro’s suggestion and tell google that the Duterte translator will work better if there is a psychiatric consultant on board their translating team.

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