Duterte Dissapointed Unused “N” Word-Laden Speech for Obama Will Go to Waste

duterte_duroVientiane, LAOS — Philippine President Rodrigo Duterte now rues the lost opportunity of the “shitstorm” his now unused “N” word-laden speech towards U.S President Barack Obama would’ve caused now that the latter has cancelled their planned meeting during the 3-day Association of Southeast Asian Nations (ASEAN) Summit Meeting here.

Sayang, napaka ganda pa naman ng pagkakasulat nito na siguradong magtatatak sa Pilipinas sa global stage,” said Duterte. “Eh biglang nabakla, nagcancel; ano na gagawin natin dito?

According to Malacañang officials, the president prepared for days practicing the correct pronunciation and intonation of the “N” word in order to convey his no-nonsense diplomatic approach to Obama and to show him who’s boss.

Madami kaming inilagay na salitang nagsisimula sa letrang N na magpapataas sa antas ng diskurso ng ating bansa,” said the Malacañang official. “Maliban sa salitang nagsisimula sa letrang N, nariyan din ang mga paborito ni presidente na ‘p*tang *na’, ‘naknamp*ta’ at ‘bayot’.

He added, “Nais ipagmalaki ni pangulo na hindi tayo luluhod sa mga imperyalismong bansa, kaya kung hindi man natin madaan sa military o diplomatic prowess, eh idaan nalang natin sa yabang ng pananalita.

All is not lost however, as the unused “N” word-laden speech will be replaced by Malacañang with compliments and sugar-coated words for an upcoming meeting with China’s Xi Jinping, such as nice, noteworthyneat, nutritious, noble and even noice.

One thought on “Duterte Dissapointed Unused “N” Word-Laden Speech for Obama Will Go to Waste

What did you think about this SATIRICAL article? Share your thoughts below.

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s