Drug Pusher to Change His Name to “Peter” to Increase Chances of Survival


Image courtesy of http://change-magazine.org/

CAVITE, Philippines — Fearing for his life due to his unique name, notorious drug pusher Sandata Dimaagaw D. Lim went to his local Civil Registry Office to have his name changed.

“My witty parents never thought of this grim scenario when they were naming a wee baby thirty something years ago),” narrated an obviously shaking and scared Lim. “They thought that a unique name such as mine would be an advantage, a chance for me to stand out.”

“Naku, eh ayaw ko ngang mag stand out at mapansin!” he added, saying that if his birth name will be detrimental between being accused of resisting arrest & shot dead OR mistaken identity, he would gladly change it to a less peculiar one in a heartbeat.

Lim is thankful for the passage of Republic Act 9048, which allows Filipinos to change their first name; Lim will be choosing between a Juan, Paul or Peter, in order for the likes of him to be given a chance to explain.

“I hope that I, just like Peter Lim, would also be given the chance to air my side due to my upcoming ordinary name,” he said. “Because we all know that it is due to this boring name and not our status and standing in society, that we are given the chance to be investigated and then judged accordingly.”

He also expressed his desire to tell President Duterte everything he knows. But with a name that is not as typical as Mark, Bert or Vhong, Lim is not taking chances.

“How many Sandata Dimaagaw D. Lim are there in the Philippines?” he asked hypothetically.  “If I don’t do this now, I might be featured in the most ironic headline in the whole country in the days to come.”



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