Duterte to Create “Dep’t of Interpretation and Clarification for People Ignoring Context”

DUTERTEMANILA, Philippines — President-elect Rodrigo Duterte announced today during a press conference that he plans to create a new department to handle statements being taken out of context so as not to alarm the general public in case he makes controversial remarks or statements.

The Department of Interpretation and Clarification for People Ignoring Context (DICPIC) will be the incoming president’s top priority as it will be the first agenda on the table, when Duterte assumes office in July. The DICPIC Act of 2016 will also be known as Republic Act (RA) No. 108666.

“Yang mga statement ko, madalas nyong binabaluktok,” Duterte said, addressing the media. “Kaya itong DICPIC ay kinakailangan para maiwasan ang pagkalat ng misinformation.”

The president-elect Duterte was referring to a recent statement he made justifying the killing of a journalist.

“The DICPIC shall be the primary policy, planning, coordinating, implementing and administrative entity of the Executive branch of the government that will interpret, explain and twist the statements the President makes in jest for public consumption,” the draft for the new law read.

The DICPIC shall be headed by a Secretary, who will be appointed by the President. Possible candidates for the post are either Sen. Koko Pimentel, Mocha Uson, Sen. Alan Peter Cayetano, Even Demata or other Duterte apologist who’s capable of sugar-coating Duterte’s controversial statements to make them less offensive.

The DICPIC Secretary will be assisted by online deputies deployed on social media to provide up-to-the-minute translations for netizens’ convenience.

The DICPIC will be the lead communications arm of the incoming president and “a vehicle of understanding for a well-informed and enlightened citizenry, always proud of its heritage and sometimes attuned to global realities”. The new department likewise abolishes the Presidential Communications Operations Office.

“The Department of Interpretation and Clarification for People Ignoring Context will ensure that no words coming out of my mouth will be distorted or taken out of context by any son of a bitch,” he added.

73 thoughts on “Duterte to Create “Dep’t of Interpretation and Clarification for People Ignoring Context”

  1. Very wise idea. It would be better for all concerned pinoys especially media and journalist who doesn’t have the capacity to understand a wise mans words.

  2. hahahahahahaha sa sobrang tawa ko dito, natae na ako. hahahahaha hindi ko mapigilang tumawa ng tumawa. for sure DICPIC will helps a lot in Dugong’s administration. hahahahahahahahaha

  3. Volunteer po..with my group of volunteers..for DICPIC for mahilig Talaga ang mga PINOYS OF TAKING MAYOR DIGONG’S Statements and pronouncements OUT-OF-CONTEXT..NOT SO MUCH SA MGA 16-MILLIONS PINOYS NAGVOTE SA KANYA…BUT ESPECIALLY So SA mga HINDI PA NACA GET OVER OR MA ACCEPT NA TALO NA SILA MAR…GRACE…AT BINAY..AND NOT SO MUCH so MERIAM…AT 25-MILLIONS ANG MGA ITO…NAGSASASOURGRIPPING. ..LANDSLIDE ANg PANALO no MAYOR DIGONG…ANDROID NAGCONCEDE…NA ANG LAGAT NA OPPONENTS NYA AND IN FACT LAGAT NA LEADERS NILA A NAGTOTOW THE LINE at NAGCOCOALESCE…NA MALIBAN SA MGA MISINFORMED MEMBERS SD RANK ND FILES…WHO NEEDS TO BE CIRCUMSPECT AND WELL RESPECT THE WILL OF GOD…AS THE VOICE OF THE PEOPLE IS THE VOICE OF GOD…GOD BLESS ALL…GOD LOVES ALL…

  4. DICPIC!? What a name! So it’s a new department that will spin the words coming from a dickhead… got it!

    • True. So that the people will not be misinformed….. Look what some of the media is doing… Dagdag bawas ng info para maging divided ang mga tao at magulo ang pagsuporta s presidente…

  5. bitaw!…. lahi man gud manulti ang bisaya…. it’s different with us Visayans…. our joke may seem absurd , bastos or downright rude but that’s how we do it…! and we take no offense, we can even bite back with a similarly ‘scathing’ remark and both sides will just laugh it off…!

  6. President Duterte’s statement is mostly taken out of context because He expressed it differently in Visayan mannered which is totally different in Tagalog! We Visayans we just laughed it out coz we understood him. So I think DICPIC is very important for this new administration.

  7. DICK’s PIC, kudos to the author, you just described yourself… And kudos to the audiences who are enjoying this… By all means crucify him. Then look at the mirror…

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