MANILA, Philippines — President-elect Rodrigo Duterte announced today during a press conference that he plans to create a new department to handle statements being taken out of context so as not to alarm the general public in case he makes controversial remarks or statements.
The Department of Interpretation and Clarification for People Ignoring Context (DICPIC) will be the incoming president’s top priority as it will be the first agenda on the table, when Duterte assumes office in July. The DICPIC Act of 2016 will also be known as Republic Act (RA) No. 108666.
“Yang mga statement ko, madalas nyong binabaluktok,” Duterte said, addressing the media. “Kaya itong DICPIC ay kinakailangan para maiwasan ang pagkalat ng misinformation.”
The president-elect Duterte was referring to a recent statement he made justifying the killing of a journalist.
“The DICPIC shall be the primary policy, planning, coordinating, implementing and administrative entity of the Executive branch of the government that will interpret, explain and twist the statements the President makes in jest for public consumption,” the draft for the new law read.
The DICPIC shall be headed by a Secretary, who will be appointed by the President. Possible candidates for the post are either Sen. Koko Pimentel, Mocha Uson, Sen. Alan Peter Cayetano, Even Demata or other Duterte apologist who’s capable of sugar-coating Duterte’s controversial statements to make them less offensive.
The DICPIC Secretary will be assisted by online deputies deployed on social media to provide up-to-the-minute translations for netizens’ convenience.
The DICPIC will be the lead communications arm of the incoming president and “a vehicle of understanding for a well-informed and enlightened citizenry, always proud of its heritage and sometimes attuned to global realities”. The new department likewise abolishes the Presidential Communications Operations Office.
“The Department of Interpretation and Clarification for People Ignoring Context will ensure that no words coming out of my mouth will be distorted or taken out of context by any son of a bitch,” he added.