Duterte to Ban Posting of Spoilers on Social Media

duterte_angry

An obviously irate presumptive President-elect Rodrigo Duterte vowed to implement a nationwide ban on spoilers on social media

MANILA, Philippines — Filipinos who post plot spoilers for TV shows and movies may have to make some adjustments in their lifestyle under the incoming administration.

In a press conference in Davao City Monday night, presumptive President-elect Rodrigo Duterte vowed to implement a nationwide ban on spoilers to protect the welfare of the general populace.

“My order is this: Stop posting spoilers on Facebook or Twitter.  S-T-O-P! ” Duterte said, adding that violators who don’t heed this warning will see their Internet access disconnected. “Gaano ba ka-emotional yung napanood mo na kailangan mo agad ipost ‘yan sa social media?”

Wala ka bang kaibigan na pwede mong ishare privately ng mga pinagdaaanan mo nung pinanuod mo yang Walking Dead o Game of Thrones?” he asked hypothetically. “Diba may Direct Messages naman sa Twitter or Facebook Messenger? Para saan naman ‘yan kung hindi mo gagamitin ang mga iyan?“‘

Duterte cited his disappointment he felt after reading a huge spoiler for Game of Thrones recently on his Twitter timeline as his basis for such rule.

TANG ‘NA! Hindi mo nga sinabi kung anong nangyari sa palabas, pero may picture naman nung character ng show sabay may umiiyak na emoticon!” an obviously infuriated Duterte said. “Pwede mo naman kimkimin muna ng ilang araw bago mo ipost diba, para sa mga hindi pa agad makapanood dahil busy sila?

“We definitely need legislation for that. I’ll make it my top priority.” Duterte stressed. “The Congress can give it to me.”

Duterte also pointed out that it is unfair to tell people to skip social media until they have watched the latest episode of a particular show.

Eh kung yang makakating daliri mo kaya ang putulin ko para hindi ka makapag-type sa keyboard, na ang sa tingin ko ang tanging pakay mo ay makapag-yabang na nauna kang nakapanuod ng palabas na yan!” shouted Duterte.

He added that it has been his pet peeve ever since finding out about the fate of Quicksilver in the most recent Avengers movie beforehand.

Alam nyo yung pakiramdam na hindi ka mapakali habang nanunuod ka nung palabas kasi alam mo nang may mamatay?” Duterte added. “Naglalakad lang yung tao, ang nasa isip mo na eh, ‘ayan, baka dito biglang may pumana sa kanya or o ayan, matitisod at mababagok ang ulo nyan sa bato,’

“Kayo patayin ko dyan eh!” he quipped before ending the press conference.

4 thoughts on “Duterte to Ban Posting of Spoilers on Social Media

  1. I can’t help laughing..but Seriously? He want to impose this ringgy dinggy thing? Hahaha..well that’s you people’s choice..so bear with him.

What did you think about this SATIRICAL article? Share your thoughts below.

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s