Philippines Unveils World’s First Eerily Human Robot Vice Presidential Candidate


The “Escuderoid” robot in action during CNN’s Vice Presidential Debate last Sunday

MANILA, Philippines — A Filipino inventor unveiled what he claimed was the world’s first “vice presidentiable” android at an election debate on Sunday, with the new robot appearing to be eerily human externally and possessing an immense vocabulary of big words to compensate for the robot’s monotonic voice.

The homo sapien-looking “Escuderoid” — an amalgamation of the Spanish word “escudero” (squire) and “android” — answered various questions lobbed by the debate moderators with a straight face wowing the audience to make them believe that a humanoid being elected as their vice president is a huge possibility.

In an enthralling demonstration, the remote-controlled machine, which had silicon skin and artificial muscles, moved its pink lips in time to its text-to-speech software, twitched its eyebrows, blinked and swayed its head from side to side, as well as pressing its lips together to produce an eerily human-like dimple on its cheek.

“It has been my dream to create a humanoid capable of running for vice president,” Dr. Susmar Yosef, “Escuderoid” inventor and Makati Science High School professor, told reporters Sunday, “But the bigger goal is to create a human-like robot capable of controlling a robotic human presidential candidate.”

But with every cheers and pop that the “Escuderoid” received for its human-like performance, a few glitches became noticeable a few minutes into the debate, namely the robot’s speech delivery system getting stuck on loop, its voice modulation software switching from a stern mechanical voice to an adolescent-like mechanical voice and its inability to lift its own bench .

“I’ll admit that there were worrisome glitches – such as the robot showing little to no emotions when talking, or the robot’s inability to give direct-to-the-point answer when asked a straightforward question,” Dr. Yosef added. “But glitches are common with robots because they are delicate gadgetry sensitive to their environment.”

The life-size robot was recently given a “Heart” transplant in order to infuse the humanoid with more human-like elements and for it to be more relatable. Time will tell if this operation will have a significant and successful result.

“We will definitely have more and more robots in our lives in the future,” Yosef told SWN. “Robots who shall eliminate humans’ incessant need of pockets in order to solve this country’s corruption problem.”


25 thoughts on “Philippines Unveils World’s First Eerily Human Robot Vice Presidential Candidate

  1. Since day one, i have already learned that Escudero is a Robot and it is true. Just like in the 1988 movie They Live. Who knows they are now in our midst.

  2. “Tulad ng waze gusto mo man o ayaw ang
    boses na nag sasalita sa app, dadalhin
    ka naman niya sa destinasyon na hangad
    mong puntahan. ” Galing sa Instagram ni heart

  3. Chiz Escudero in a restaurant be like:

    Waiter: Ano po order nila?

    Chiz: Kung ako ay iyong pahihintulutannnnn. Nais ko sanang makita muna ang listahan ng mga putaheeeeee. Ang listahan ay mahalaga upang makita natin kung ano ang ibat ibang pwedeng kainin sa establesimiento ito. Layunin naminnnnn na bumili ng masustansya na pagkain sa tamang presyo na kayang kayang maabot at mabili ng mahihirap na humigit kumulang anim-na-pu’ng pursyentooooooo ng kasalukuyang naninirahan sa ating bansa. Maglalaan kami ng badyettttttt upang matustusan ang pangangailangan ng bawat tao na naninirahan sa bansang ito, ng sa gayon ay magamit nila ang kanilang karapatannnnnn sa malayang mabili ang kanilang ninanais na putaheeeeeee.

    Waiter: K.

  4. Kung baga sa meryenda,isa syang maPALABOK.
    Kung baga sa drinks Tequila,nakakahilo.
    Sa kakanin,sapinsapin.

    Time is of the essence.
    Be direct and precise..Wag na paligoy ligoy.Not everyone has the privilege of listening to a lengthy explanation..

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