MANILA, Philippines — The National Commission for Culture and the Arts (NCCA) has announced that it will erect a massive statue of Manila Rep. Amado Bagatsing in honor of his stupidity when he suggested the Rizal monument’s repositioning in order to settle the Torre De Manila controversy.
“We are already in the process of commissioning a national artist to sculpt what we envisioned to be a magnificent statue,” said NCCA chairman Philip M. De Limon. “This is a historical undertaking and we are looking for possible sites where the statue will be placed worthy of the lawmaker’s ineptitude.”
The life-sized statue will be made out of white marble, sculpted to the likeness of the lawmaker and would contain an engraving of the letter S on its forehead.
“If budget permits, we’ll even make it a rotating statue capable of spinning 360 degrees,” he added, saying that only a deranged man who can come up with a “spinning” solution deserves a statue able to project its stupidity in the maximum allowable radius possible.
The NCCA is choosing between the House of Representatives in Batasan as well as erecting it directly in front of the gates of Rep. Bagatsing’s residence.
“Or we could place his statue behind the carabao,” he added. “That way his stupidity is facing the city of Manila and a stark reminder for everyone who the traitor is.”