MANILA, Philippines — In a move that would definitely shock the ranks of the Philippine National Police (PNP), President Benigno Aquino III announced today the appointment of Prada, Kris Aquino’s pet Bichon Frise, as the new PNP Chief.
“It is with great honor for me to announce Prada’s appointmnet as the new PNP chief, who will take over the helm of this 150,000-strong government security force,” said Aquino during a press conference held at Malacañang.
“His months of service and excellence in upholding peace at the Aquino residence, his unwavering support to this administration and his extreme loyalty to the family made making this decision easy and unquestionable on my part.”
Prada will replace outgoing Deputy Director General Leonardo Espina, who earlier took the post after Director General Alan Purisima’s suspension and resignation. The canine’s papers and documentation are being finalized to make the appointment legal.
“This here is no ordinary dog,” he added, while pointing at Prada, who was standing next to him. “This dog is bound for greatness, he will reach new heights, and this appointment is only a stepping stone for this magnificent creature.”
According to the President, Prada went through a strict screening process that enabled him to be singled out as the top pick for this very important post.
“This dog is oozing with courage, integrity and compassion that makes it impossible for the public to see anything wrong with him that they can nitpick,” he said, adding that for the public to disown an incorruptible dog for being appointed as the new PNP chief would be a huge step backward at the outrage that netizens have shown against the Yulin Festival.
The dog’s owner, Kris Aquino, was noticeably proud and was applauding non-stop during the press conference.
“I knew he was special, but to be appointed as the head of a police force is nothing short of astonishing,” she said. “I guess we have to cancel his scheduled shoot for his product endorsement.”
Malacañang is waiting for the presidential sister to announce the “good news” on her Instagram account to make the appointment official.