MANILA, Philippines — Esquire Philippines announced today that they will be giving away free erasers to their loyal subscribers who were enraged after seeing Department of Interior and Local Government (DILG) secretary Mar Roxas’ photo on the cover of their November issue.
“We are very sorry that a lot of you didn’t like the cover that we have chosen this month,” said Esquire Philippines Editor in Chief Arwin Romulan in a press statement. “After September’s very successful Eraserheads issue, we deemed it necessary to offer this eraser to people who wants to express their disgust at Mar Roxas.”
Dissatisfied readers will be able erase the face of a smiling Roxas on the controversial cover so that they will not be reminded of the shitty job the secretary did at Tacloban after typhoon Yolanda struck last year.
In order to offer multiple options for readers who are not contended with just erasing the Interior Secretary’s face, Esquire also plans to offer a box of matches, a black permanent marker as well as a set of stickers containing the faces of various personalities.
Mechanics for the distribution of the DIY kits will be announced in the coming days.
“What we’re trying to say is that you can do whatever you want with the cover using this DIY kit,” said Romulan, noting that the cover photo might probably look better if readers will draw a penis on Roxas’ face, add some fangs and an insulting speech bubble saying, “There goes 2016.”
“Basically, the world is your oyster,” he added.
“And if you decided not to alter the cover, let it be a constant reminder come 2016 on who handled the Department of Transportation and Communication (DOTC) before and the DILG now, which are both, like Tacloban, still in shitty conditions as we speak.”