DAVAO CITY, Philippines — To avoid confusion on what the word “hipon” really means, The Davao City Council, led by Mayor Rodrigo Duterte, issued a moratorium declaring the selling and eating of the controversial crustacean as illegal.
“To set the record straight, ang salitang hipon ay isang uri ng pangiinsulto sa mga kababaihan,” said Mayor Duterte. “Ang isang bagay na nakakapangiinsulto ay hindi dapat tinatangkilik ng mga mamimili sa palengke at pantalan.“
Hipon is local slang term for a woman who has a sexy body but an ugly face.
The resolution came after comedian, Ramon Bautista, was declared persona non grata for a joke he made during the Kadayawan Festival. Former Mayor Sara Duterte, who is famous for her respectful and down-to-earth attitude, urged the city council to declare Bautista as an unwelcomed person in the city, and for the crustacean as well.
“Natutuwa ako sa hakbang na ito ng City Council upang maiwasan ang kalituhan kung ano talaga ang ibig sabihin ng hipon,” the younger Duterte said.
The resolution officially bans shrimps of all kinds, including sugpo, which is a gay lingo for an extremely buff, sexy or fit person with an extremely ugly face. Popular Japanese dish Tempura will also be banned as it means an ugly person who dresses up well.
Violators who are caught selling, buying or consuming shrimps would be asked to say sorry to the public AND be declared persona non grata. An appeal to be welcomed back into the city is possible via a strenuous and demanding process involving walking with bended knees from the airport all the way to the city hall and asking for forgiveness from the mayor while bawling.
“Or just move to a different city where the Mayor is not as respectful and compassionate to other human beings as me,” Duterte said.
“Dahil mahal natin ang ating kapwa tao, hindi natin hahayang masaktan ang kanilang damdamin,” he said. Her daughter chimed in, saying, “Susuntukin ko ng apat na beses and sinumang magtangka nito,” while his father flashed the dirty finger to taunt would be violators.
“Low self-esteem Davaoenos and Davaoenas can sleep easy at night knowing that comedians who will come here in the future can no longer use words such as hipon or sugpo when telling their jokes,” she added. “Dahil magiging irrelaevant na ang salitang ito dito sa Davao simula ngayon.”
The Davao City Council is still drafting a separate resolution to also declare antibiotics, katol (mosquito coil), Duty Free and mahogany, among others, as illegal in the city.