MANILA, Philippines — Department of Budget and Management secretary Florencio “Butch” Abad is willing to teach street magician David Blaine some of his secret magic tricks, when the performer visits the country this coming September.
Dubbed “Real or Magic,” Blaine’s first performance in the Philippines will be held on September 12 at the Araneta Coliseum. The show will feature some of the tricks that made Blaine a household name when it comes to illusions including pushing needles through his arm to twisting off a chicken’s head and putting it back on.
“We are excited to welcome Mr. Blaine to the country and for him to show us some of his famous tricks,” said Abad. “For once, Filipinos can answer the age-old question on whether he is real or a con-artist (coughs).”
Abad expressed his willingness to show the 41-year-old magician some of his own tricks that he learned during his tenure at DBM, including his famous hat-trick, where the he pulls out unlimited objects from an apparently empty top hat. The secretary will also show Blaine some of his head-scratching how-did-he-do-that tricks to impress the 41-year-old magician.
“Tuturuan natin sya kung paano natin nagawang makalipon ng pagkarami-raming pondo para sa DAP, galing sa mga hindi natuloy na proyekto ng ibang ahensya ng gobyerno,” said Abad. “Tiyak, matutuwa yun ng di oras!”
And with a thick puff of smoke, Abad disappeared in thin air while shouting, “Abadracadabra!”
Special Visitor for Detained Senators
Detained senators allegedly involved in the PDAF scam are also hoping that Blaine would visit them in their detention cells.
“I want to know how someone can survive for 44 days inside a Plexiglas case suspended 30 ft in the air, when a guy like me can’t even fathom being detained in this non-air-conditioned room for almost a month now with only a few things to do,” said Senator Ramon “Bong” Revilla.
“At nung panahong yun, hindi pa nga uso ang Loombands,” added Senator Jinggoy Estrada. “Malamang batong-bato sya sa loob ng kahon na ‘yon.”
And to entice Blaine to visit them, the senators are also offering to share some of their tricks with him.
“In exchange for a few survival tips, we are willing to teach him our magic disappearing trick that has baffled even the Commission on Audit (COA),” said Estrada.
When asked to elaborate further, Revilla reminded everyone that “a great magician never reveals his secrets”.
“Never!” exclaimed Senator Juan Ponce Enrile