Enrile’s Lawyers Almost Done Fulfilling Client’s Bucket List

MANILA, Philippines — The legal counsel of embattled senator Juan Ponce Enrile proudly revealed today that they are close to completing their client’s so called “bucket list”, with only five items left on the list before proclaiming a “job well done”.

A bucket list is defined as a number of experiences or achievements that a person hopes to have or accomplish during their lifetime.

enrile bucket list

Enrile’s “Bucket List” (click for larger view)

Citing the last three items on the list as being out of their jurisdiction, Enrile’s legal counsel headed by Estelito Mendoza said that they are exploring all avenues in order to fulfill three out of five remaining entries on the nonagenarian lawmaker’s list.

“The other day, he just crossed-out ‘experience hospital arrest’ entry on his list,” said Mendoza. “I’ve never seen an old man so happy in his life, and we are so proud to be able to make it a reality.”

Enrile was extra careful while crossing out the entry, as the list was written on a parchment paper, according to Mendoza.

He added, “We are not resting on our laurels, as there are still many illness to be made-up and motions to be filed at the Sandiganbayan in order to cross everything out.”

Mendoza admitted that they will have to move mountains in order to make “resthouse arrest” and “be let off the hook for crimes committed” a reality; but they believe that with years of legal expertise, easily manipulated public sentiment and back channeling, nothing is impossible.

After we have fulfilled our part, it’s up to Ma’am Gigi, God and the Catholic Bishops Conference of the Philippines (CBCP) respectively to fulfill the remaining items on the list.

“I heard that the CBCP has been very accommodating to people who are in similar position as our client,” said Mendoza.

“I’m sure they can make the last item a reality.”

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