Lawmaker Files Bill Banning Blowjobs Inside Vehicles on Sundays

noBJ

The only photo on the Internet about “No BJ Inside Car” that is not NSFW.

MANILA, Philippines — After filing a bill banning the blowing of horns on Sundays, Leyte 6th Representative Lucy Gores-Tommez went one step further after she filed today House Bill 7878 or “No Blowing of Dicks Inside Vehicles on Sundays” bill.

Tommez chose Sunday to prohibit blowjobs because she said that, “On this day that houses of worship are occupied for the members’ mostly solemn religious activities and  in no circumstances do they have time for sexual acts whatsoever.”

“It is a fact that many Filipinos lack simple courtesy, performing oral sex inside vehicles at the slightest sign of sexual itch, real or imagined. Some of them do not realize that their sex life would not even improve when ‘it’ is done inside a car,” she said in the bill’s explanatory note.

“It’s not far-fetched to say that the almost pathological ‘blowing of a dicks’ of some drivers/passengers is a precursor to murderous or homicidal rage,” she added.

Tommez cites premature ejaculation and an unsatisfied feeling after the sexual act as a cause for the homicidal rage.

The bill (An Act Establishing Every Sunday As A ‘No Fellatio Day‘ Prohibiting Blowjobs Throughout the Country) penalizes any driver/passenger who will violate the measure with a fine of P1500 per offense if offender is not wearing his seatbelt or only P500 if the offender is wearing his seatbelt during the sexual act. Violators should settle at the nearest branch of the Land Transportation Office (LTO).

It exempts from the ‘No Fellatio Day’ drivers of all public and private vehicle drivers throughout the country, who are in life or death situation requiring immediate sexual attention, particularly ‘a friendly kiss to the pants‘.

The bill defines fellatio as “an oral sex act involving the use of the mouth or throat, which is performed by a person on the penis of another person or oneself (NSFW) . Oral stimulation of the scrotum may also be termed fellatio,or tea bagging(NSFW).

Stay tuned for further news.

One thought on “Lawmaker Files Bill Banning Blowjobs Inside Vehicles on Sundays

  1. Reblogged this on AYEMATRABELER and commented:
    WoW! so much peculiar in a conservative nation! How may the President react to it. Can we translate Accounting Terms to Filipino (i.e. Assets to Ari or Pag-aari)?

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