Travel website Fainting In Airports has released the results of its Best and Worst Airports to Faint In for 2014, and the Philippines’ main gateway was voted as the world’s most ideal airport to lose consciousness in.
The rankings were based on the following criteria:
- Comfort: Tiled flooring ensures excruciating cranial impact upon losing consciousness..
- Convenience: Lack of proper ventilation and air-conditioning guarantees instant black-out for the uninitiated.
- Customer Service: Attentive medical emergency workers revives passengers free of charge as well as throwing in a free blood pressure check.
- Value Added Service: To justifying the unjust travel tax, a free bottle of water and sandwich is provided for the fainthearted after being brought back to life.
In the website’s page for NAIA 1, Internet user “suffocatingcat123” said, “at this airport everything seems to have been done to make the experience for exhausted people who would suffocate to death as memorable as possible.”
Malacañang welcomed the accolade given to the country’s airport, crediting the secretary of the Department of Transportation and Communication (DOTC), Joseph Abaya for a job well done.
“We made sure that fainting in our airports is as easy as 1-2-3,” said Abaya. “Another reason for Filipinos to be proud of.”
He added, “Reports claiming that deliveries of four new air-conditioning units by September and renting of such equipments for the meantime to alleviate passenger’s suffering are definitely not true. “There is not truth to that.”
Abaya reiterated that the government worked so hard to achieve this recognition and assured the public that the NAIA would do it best to provide discomfort to passenger.
He added, “we would definitely still be in the running for the “World’s Best Airport to Faint In” come 2015 and beyond.