MANILA, Philippines — Columbia Pictures Philippines announced today the cancellation of the screening of their upcoming superhero movie, ‘The Amazing Spider-Man 2’, due to fears that it would not do so well at the box office.
“We have decided to not show the movie in the Philippines due to fears that it would not be up-to-par with Filipino’s standards in film quality,” said Jon Arbuckle of Columbia Pictures.
Arbuckle confirmed that the decision to cancel the screening was due to Kris Aquino bragging to Andrew Garfield about her son, Bimby, beating his first ‘Spider-Man’ film in the Philippines in terms of earnings.
He said, “After the interview, Garfield became so worried that if a locally produced movie could beat an international blockbuster, what are the chances that the sequel would fare better.”
The actor immediately consulted the director, Marc Webb and asked if they could add scenes to the movie to mimic elements from ‘My Little Bossings’.
“Garfield suggested adding a scene where Spider-Man would take a break from patrolling New York and eat a bowl of Lucky Me Pancit Canton,” narrated Arbuckle. “Or another scene where he cleans his costume using Ariel.”
Webb turned down the idea saying that adding blatant product placements to a movie you already paid to see would be a huge insult to the viewers.
“Garfield debated with Webb that the same formula was employed in Bimby’s movie and this is the only other way for them to beat ‘My Little Bossings’,” said Arbuckle.
“He was so scared the movie will tank that he even suggested Mr. Webb to dumb down the plot of the movie just for the Philippine market.”
Marc Webb was apparently not too keen on a superhero movie about how Peter Parker, Gwen Stacy, Harry Osborne and Electro would get along under one roof while shilling products to viewers, hence the decision was made to cancel the movie’s screening altogether.
People who already bought tickets for ‘The Amazing Spider-Man 2’ need not to worry as Columbia Pictures has a special treat for them.
“Viewers would instead get a free upgrade and be able to watch a remastered ‘My Little Bossings’ in IMAX 3D,” said Arbuckle.