MANILA, Philippines — Stopping short of saying that the world as we know it will cease to exist if the Supreme Court will not lift the temporary restraining order (TRO) it issued with regards to the power rate hike, Manila Electric Co. (Meralco) is reportedly coming up with even more diabolical scenarios to tell the public to convince them that the additional charges are justified.
“It would seem that rotational blackouts are no longer effective as a scare tactic,” said Joe Zaldrriaga of Meralco’s Public Information Office. “Even saying that it would happen during summer when the weather is scorching hot, doesn’t seem to illicit the same amount of panic as before.”
That is why think tanks at the utility company are hard at work trying to come up with other nefarious situations with corresponding tables and infographics containing fictional numbers and data to justify the hike.
“We’re planning to tell our customers during one of our infomercials that the explosion of the sun is imminent,” said Zaldrriaga. “If the thought of a super solar flare burning your skin to a crisp and the thought of a power shortage failing to power any sort of cooling device at the same time doesn’t scare you, I don’t know what else will.”
But Zaldrriaga’s partner, Maita David was quick to point out that Merlaco have more tricks up their sleeve.
“If that doesn’t force the Supreme Court to lift the TRO, we have other doomsday scenarios such as black holes, giant meteor hitting the Earth, zombie outbreak and #Binay2016,” said David.
Meralco decided to go on the offensive after it failed to garner any praise or positive feedback from the public after announcing lower electricity rates this February.
“We thought doing this would cover up the fact that we tried to pull a fast one on you two months prior,” said Zaldrriaga. “Obviously, a 13-centavo savings per kWh is a far-cry from having to pony-up P4.15 per kWh.”
“Boy, what were we thinking?!” laughed David.
She added, “We’re upping the ante on these doomsday scenarios just to make sure that the public will have no choice but to embrace the power rate hike.”
“How do you raise the bar for something as scary as #BINAY2016?” asked this author.
“If the thought of Binay being elected into office in two year’s time doesn’t scare the beejeezus out of you, how about Binay becoming your president next Tuesday?”
“Cause if Binay as your president for 6 years doesn’t scare you, Binay as your president for 8 years probably will,” explained Zaldrriaga.
P.S. This article is not sponsored nor paid by any political entity as a form of black propaganda. This is just the scariest scenario that the author can think of at the moment.