Filipinos Likes to Welcome the New Year with Cries of Agony Inside Hospitals

firecrackerinjuryMANILA, Philippines — The Philippines is composed of stubborn people who likes to welcome the new year with loud, shrieking sound of agonizing pain instead of the usual noisemakers.

Noise making on New Year’s eve is believed to have originated in ancient times, when noise were thought to dispel evil spirits and bring good luck.

But a vast majority of Filipinos generate their noise via uttering of high-pitched piercing sounds or words usually due to terror and extreme pain. This is done via the use of illegal firecrackers which are less noisier as compared to the noise a child makes when his right pinkie finger is being sawed-off at the hospital.

Nais naming siguraduhin na maganda ang (aray) pasok ng bagong taon!!!” said Cole Rondilla in a grimacing tone while a doctor attends to his bleeding eyes.  “Ito lamang ang paraan (ouch) ng pagiingay na naisip ko!!!”

Another patient whose index finger was being amputated nearby, celebrated the New Year three days earlier as his loud squealing voice filled the halls of the hospital making sure it dispelled every evil spirits in all corners of the building.

Others who are not yet lucky to celebrate the New Year the ‘right’ way, compensated their misfortune by spending huge amounts of their hard-earned money buying illegal firecrackers instead.

Medyo minalas ako last year at hindi ako nabigyan ng pagkakataon na sumigaw ng malakas sa loob ng ospital,” said Augusto Reyes, whose fingers are still all intact. “Kaya this year, tinodo ko na at inubos ko ang ipon ko para mabili etong mga ‘Super Yolanda‘ at ‘Napoles”.

Malay mo swertehin ako this year,” he added.

Children are no exception as a large number of kids who are fond of ‘Piccolos’ mimic adults via screams of “WAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!” while doctors are tending to their wounds.

But experts believe that repeated cries of, “HINDI NA PO AKO MAGPAPAPUTOK!!!!” are still the most effective way for children to dispel evil spirits and welcoming in the New Year.



2 thoughts on “Filipinos Likes to Welcome the New Year with Cries of Agony Inside Hospitals

What did you think about this SATIRICAL article? Share your thoughts below.

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s