After Islam, Freddie Aguilar Switching to Another Religion Where Threesomes are Allowed

BULUAN, Maguindanao — After tying the knot with his 16-year-old girlfriend under Muslim rites today officiated by Maguindanao Gov. Esmael “Toto” Mangundadatu, folk music singer Freddie Aguilar is said to be looking at other religions that would allow him, among others, to have group sex.

Philippine civil laws prohibit minors marrying, but Presidential Decree 1083 or the Muslim Family Code allows such union as long as the bride has had menstruation. Prophet Mohammed similarly married a teenager when he was over 50 years old.

Mangundadatu said in the report that Aguilar, who was raised a Catholic, was inclined to embrace Islam even before meeting his would-be wife. The bride will turn 17 on November 29. (from Philippine Star)

freddie

Freddie Aguilar, with his new wives.

After the romantic ceremony in which the couple wore traditional Muslim attires, Aguilar, who from now on would be called by his new Muslim name  “Abdul Farid” was seen looking at another younger woman asking her if she has had menstruation already.

When the girl, who obviously hasn’t reached puberty yet, ran to her mother asking what menstruation is, Aguilar reportedly exclaimed, “Who’s next?”

After asking others for a while, Aguilar, made his choice and a woman was seen with him in tow.

Nasaan na si Gov?” said Aguilar. “Papakasalan ko din itong babae. Mahal na mahal ko sya.

Aguilar’s spiritual adviser  shared with us that the iconic folksinger’s ultimate dream is to have a Ménage à trois.

Gusto nya sa honeymoon eh tatlo sila (On his honeymoon, he wants the three of them),” revealed his friend. “Kaya ngayong nakapili na sya ng ikalawang asawa nya, lilipat naman sya sa ibang relihiyon kung saan hindi ipinagbabawal ang threesome (So now that he have chosen his second wife, he will switch to another religion where threesomes are not prohibited).”

Initially, Aguilar was set to switch to Hinduism due to the Kama Sutra, but backed-out after learning that it was not part of the religion.

His spiritual adviser added, “He told me to look into other religions where followers are ordered to act out their ‘weird, sexual fantasies.'”

Judaisim, Buddhism, Taoism, Tantrism and Shinto have been so far, rejected by Aguilar.

The adviser is currently searching far and wide, around the world for the perfect religion that would perfectly fit an impatient 60-year-old man who cannot wait one more year in order  to “do the nasty” with a woman. Legally.

17 thoughts on “After Islam, Freddie Aguilar Switching to Another Religion Where Threesomes are Allowed

  1. Kelangan me ganitong comment kada newsflash ng So What’s News:

    “ANO BA NAMAN ITONG BALITA NA TO? TOTOO BA TO? JOURNALIST BA NAGSULAT NITO?”

    -huehuehue.

    • Walang karapatan ang mga muslim na pigilan kung sino man ang papasok sa relihion Islam. Hinayaan lang ang panghuhusga sa Diyos (Allah). Basta hindi pinagpipilitan ang relihion Islam. Kita kits na lang sa imperno. Hehehe. Doon na magkakaalaman.

  2. This is poorly written – although it’s still funny and hits its target. I think the point this article makes is that under the freedom of religion, one cannot be compelled to follow a law contrary to his beliefs, so why not search for religions that “believe” in or encourage sexual fetishes? That much is understood.

    But “acting out sexual fantasies” is actually allowed in most religions – simply because they do not touch on this issue and usually leave it as a personal question. The article is trying to stretch too far the absurdity of the suggestion, to the point that a religion might even order sexual fetishes to be carried out, as if all religions ̣(by default) ordered all areas of a person’s life. Granted, though, that it is written from a Judaeo-Christian point of view: it is partially discredited this way.

    There are no religions that will actively encourage sexual fetishes: those belief systems that do are commonly called ‘cults’ because they are so marginalized. This takes most of the sting out of the article, because in reality, few religions are truly controlling of people’s private lives.

    Anyway, it’s funny, so good job – you still hit the spot. But we would want to read something a bit better than this.😀

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