MANILA, Philippines — In a landmark ruling, the Supreme Court voted 14-0 declaring the Priority Development Assistance Fund (PDAF) or more popularly known as ‘Pork Barrel”, unconstitutional. Associate Justice Presbitero Velasco inhibited from the voting as his son is a member of the House of Representatives.
With the ruling, morale at the 16th Congress of the Philippines is at an all-time low.
A representative from Luzon who wishes to be unnamed, expressed his disappointment with the SC ruling saying that he no longer see any reason to go to work.
“Before this, I woke up everyday all-excited on how much money I’ll be able to take away,” he said. “But now, I don’t ever see that happening again.”
At that point, we had to remind the congressman that his primary job is to make laws, to which he replied: “Is it?”
“Aren’t we supposed to profit from soft and hard projects?”
Quezon City Rep. Winston Castelo, who is famous for proposing the Anti-Angry Birds Bill said that the ruling might have an impact on his current project.
“I am now busy drafting an Anti-Minions Bill,” revealed Castelo, referring to the small, yellow, cylindrical, creatures who have one or two eyes.
Castelo went to 168 again the other day for some Christmas shopping and all he saw were Minion merchandises everywhere to the point where it became absurd.
“I went home and drafted this bill right away,” he added. “But with the SC ruling, I guess it would have to be placed on the back burner.”
Majority of the lawmakers we interviewed are now having second thoughts about their jobs. Another even suggested a mass resignation in the hopes of getting sympathy from their constituents, to which his colleague rebutted: “You mean the constituents that we have been bilking all these years? I doubt that.”
A few cannot believe their fate and finding it hard to grasp the reality that they have to wake up each morning, eat a hearty breakfast, take a warm bath, kiss their wife (or mistress), ride a car and drag their feet to the office.
“I guess there’s nothing left to do but go to work, and maybe draft some laws?” an obviously depressed senator added, sounding like a kid who doesn’t want to go to school.
Another Senator chimed-in, wondering out loud how he would be able to recoup his campaign expenditures during the election.
“Siguro kasing tanda ko na si Tanda, hindi ko pa din mababawi yon!” said the neophyte senator. “Baka pwede mag recount? Sure bang nanalo ako?”