MANILA, Philippines — The Senate of the Philippines unanimously voted to cancel the scheduled Nov. 7 appearance and testimony of Janet Lim Napoles, during an impromptu closed-door caucus held last night.
Several unconfirmed sources said that it was Senate Minority Leader Juan Ponce Enrile and Senator Jinggoy Estrada who called for the meeting that was attended by all members of the senate. Both senators have previously agreed to inhibit themselves from the hearing.
Invoking their right against self incrimination, Jinggoy Estrada was quoted as saying that “Senators might get carried away with their questioning and inadvertently incriminate their fellow senators or worst, incriminate themselves. To which Enrile, Revilla, as well as other unnamed senators who has yet to face charges from the Ombudsman, all agreed to.
“Kung si Napoles nga puwedeng i-invoke ang right niya against self incrimination, tayo pa kayang mga senador (If Napoles can invoke her right against self incrimination, what more for us senators)?” said Enrile.
Sources privy to the closed-door meeting noticed other senators slyly agreeing to the motion, but trying their best to keep a poker face.
Another senator expressed fear that Napoles might forget that she’s in the senate building and not in a private, secluded place and might start feeling comfy in the presence of the senators.
“Mamaya biglang kamustahin niya ang mga pamilya natin on national TV (She might ask how our families are doing on national TV)!”
Another agreed saying, “You’re right! We might carelessly and accidentally answer her: ‘Ok lang naman si Misis at yung inaanak mo. Ikaw, kamusta na yung cute mong asong si Fifi?”
Estrada also expressed concern that the alleged mastermind of the P10 billion pork barrel scam might address his colleagues on a first-name basis or worst, via their nicknames.
“Lagot tayo when she starts calling you ‘Greggy’, ‘Pareng Vicente’, ‘Mr. Backdoor, or ‘Mars Loren’,” while pointing at his colleagues in a ‘you-you-you-and-you manner’.
That’s when all of them unanimously voted to cancel Napoles’ scheduled appearance and testimony.
“Mukhang nakahingang malalim yung isang senator na hindi ko papangalanan (One senator who I shall not name looked like he heaved a sigh of relief),” said our source. “Let’s just call him Frankenstein, tutal malapit na ang Halloween.”
Other senators expressed concern about public outrage in case the testimony does not push through, to which Enrile suggested that Napoles could feign sick, in order for the senate to save face.
“This is a tried-and-tested method,” one female senator was quoted as saying. “Filipinos would still fall for it.”
“Alam mo naman ang Pinoy, makalimutin, lalong-lalo na at papalapit na ang pasko (You know how Filipinos are. Forgetful and short-attention-spanned, especially with Christmas fast approaching),” she added.