Napoles Underwent Plastic Surgery to Look Exactly Like Leila De Lima

Dr. Castor and Pollux Troy in a lighthearted moment after the operation.

Dr. Castor and Pollux Troy in a lighthearted moment after the operation.

MANILA, Philippines  — The reason that the National Bureau of Investigation (NBI) alongside the Department of Justice (DOJ) are having difficulties tracking down Janet Lim Napoles can be known: The alleged mastermind in the P10 billion “pork barrel scam” already had extensive plastic surgery done to look exactly like DOJ Secretary Leila de Lima.

According to renowned German cosmetologist Dr. Castor Troy, Napoles contacted him to have facial reconstruction done to her so as to elude arrest. Alongside his brother, Dr. Pollux Troy they came to Manila via her private jet sometime during the first week of August.

“We were actually her second choice,” revealed Dr. Castor Troy. “She was turned down by American cosmetologist Dr. Ethan Hunt after she wanted to look like Heidi Klum,” referring to the German-born American model and television host.

He added, “When we came in, we were very specific that what she wanted was impossible. That is why we studied other choices on who she can look like.”

The choices came down to two, when Napoles was asked if she wanted to look like her lawyer, Lorna Kapunan or as DOJ secretary Leila de Lima.

But her lawyer declined, saying that Napoles wouldn’t be able to handle her other case involving James Yap and presidential sister, Kris Aquino.

“So, after finalizing all the details, we went to work on her, which took almost 9 hours to complete,” said the younger Dr. Pollux Troy. “Add to that the 4-hour recovery period after the operation.”

Napoles-Plastic Surgery

This author had to ask the doctors: “How are we gonna know who is the real Justice Secretary?”

“Remember when De Lima downplayed the news that Napoles had plastic surgery?” asked Dr. Troy. “That was Napoles!”

Releasing the list of her vehicles, 28 houses as well as her absurd possessions was also Napoles’ handiwork.

“She’s flaunting it!” said the doctor.

Janet Lim Napoles together with Ombudsman Conchita Carpio-Morales during yesterday’s Inter-Agency Anti-Graft Coordinating Council (IAAGCC) news conference.

According to Dr. Troy, the public will also notice clear signs that it is Napoles disguised as the secretary when she is trying to condition the minds of the public that capturing her seems nigh impossible. Comments such as “the bureau does not have enough manpower”, “they can escape to Hong Kong”, “we have stretched ourselves thin” or ” she’s hiding inside her Secret Volcano Lair,” are dead ringer Napoles.

“Another way to determine if it’s the real De Lima or not is by pinching both her cheeks simultaneously as hard as you can,” advised the doctor. “If the skin sags, that is definitely Napoles, but if you hear a loud shriek, then you’re definitely in trouble.”

“Napoles would also appear in public telling everyone that the NBI believes that she’s still in the country but they’re hiding,” added Dr. Pollux. “What they don’t realize is that she’s really hiding in plain sight.”

Her endgame, according to the doctor, is to kidnap the real Justice Secretary, and changing her face to look like Napoles, and claiming the P10M reward for herself.

12 thoughts on “Napoles Underwent Plastic Surgery to Look Exactly Like Leila De Lima

What did you think about this SATIRICAL article? Share your thoughts below.

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s