Squatters in Metro Manila Quadrupled Overnight After Learning About Govt’s P18K Rental Subsidy Plan

squatterMANILA, Philippines — Malacañang was surprised to find out today that illegal settlers up for relocation, who they estimated the other day to be around 20,000 families, has ballooned to around 79,185 families as of this morning.

This after the government announced a plan to provide an P18,000 rental subsidy for every family of informal settler that needs to be relocated.

“We were shocked to see relatives of existing families that came all the way from far-flung provinces already living in the area this morning,” presidential spokesman Edwin Lacierda said. “They weren’t there the other day!”

He added that new families has already constructed two-story shanties on top of their relative’s shanties along one of the major estuaries.

Parang mga kabute silang nagsulputan (They’re like mushrooms that sprout anywhere)!” said a nearby onlooker.

One of the new squatters was apparently told by her third cousin about the government’s plan.

May libreng pabahay, pangkabuhayan at pera daw na ipamimigay (There’s apparently free housing, livelihood and money being given away),” said Doris.

Kulang nalang living room at kitchen showcase, kumpleto na sana (It only needs a living room and kitchen showcase and we’re all set)!”

Yes, may pambili na ako ng pangalawang iPad!” said another.

“Samsung Galaxy Tab for me!” chimed his brother.

The Department of Public Works and Highways (DPWH) secretary Rogelio Singson reiterated their commitment to the plan, saying that the manta, “Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime” is the cornerstone of this undertaking with livelihood projects planned in the future.

“It’s just that these informal settlers wrongfully interprets the rental subsidy as the ‘fish’,” said Singson. “So now, it looks like the government is teaching them how to ‘fish’ for money.”

Singson also expects the informal settlers to come back to the estuaries and waterways after being relocated, hence the agency is planning to construct “faux danger zones” to entice them to relocate there instead.

“If they really don’t want to move in to permanent housing units, we are planning to build replicas of the esteros on empty government-owned lands that would not affect Metro Manila’s waterways and cause floods.”

According to Singson, a “faux river” would be constructed within the “faux esteros” to provide families with a place to defecate and throw their garbage in, as well as “faux electric and cable tv wires”  hanging above their homes for residents to do their ‘thing‘.

“It’s like living in an estero without the societal headache that comes with it!”

“Moving is not an easy thing to do,” said Singson. “We are here to make sure that such process would be easy and a snap.”

Maybe a little too easy?

55 thoughts on “Squatters in Metro Manila Quadrupled Overnight After Learning About Govt’s P18K Rental Subsidy Plan

    • Squatters should use their minds. First, They steal the land of the government, then they are the ones to refuse to demolish their houses. Second, they will leave their houses when the government will give them money (as if the government is paying them to leave their houses.) It is no right that the government should pay them a lot because they are the ones who should pay the government.But still we should not accuse the government. Maybe they caused just a little about this problem, but paying the squatters is one of their ways to finish this problem.

      • aw. seriously? kung pag kakagastusan lang din naman pala nila ang mga squatters, bakit di na lang yung pagpapauwi sa mga probinsiya nila ang pagkagastusan nila, medyo madami din ang gustong umuwi ngunit walang mga pera tapos bigyan na lang ng ban kung gano sila katagal pedeng bumalik ng manila. parang color coding muna sila sa manila. siguro mas mura pa yun kung kukumbinsihin nila para sa philanthropy ang cause na yun kesa sa housing loans. at siguradong mag kakasagot ang spacing problem ng manila.

  1. It is human to think other people and save them from poverty permanently. What is 18K nowadays? Some claim it’s their tax you should be thankful that you helped poor people and that God will repay you more and prosper. Believe me poor people have no choice, they may be with skills and knowledge but then good opportunity did not arrive in their lives. God be fair.

    • are you dumb? this will not help them, this will only tolerate indolence. No choice? I don’t think so. There is always a choice. If only they will kick their asses to work just like the rest who are working, then there will be no poverty. And please do not blame God, God hel helps those who help themselves.

      • but they can’t. they were reduced to a futile living machine that only knows how to survive. if there is an easy way, they’d go for it. values and morals are nothing but a laughing stock for them. what we need are solutions, solutions which are easily achievable, by whom? by us, the working class, the middle class, the thinking class. we may not have the money, or the position to do so, but we can, through open mindedness, through various actions upon our communities. through filtering of words, we can communicate. we are the workforce. we should make a difference.

    • most people just live to survive, it is a human without its humanity. they only thrive to survive, if you will just let it be to your God that their existence and future would be fruitful you are doing more damage than good. it is better for you to make wise choices for them than let them think wise choices themselves. opinion like yours are what make me sad, making everything else around you just like unfinished business that somehow some other day you are hoping your God will be working on. act now. your reliance to your God in these circumstances makes you nothing but a cult member that watches your country burn.

  2. True. Pinakakawawa talaga middle class. Di kasi sila nag sumisikap or go an extra mile para kumita, all they want is easy money. Tayo sumasalo lahat. Nakaw na kuryente. Street crimes. Ako nga kahit papano meron pero di ko bili ng ipad or ng samsung. Check the poorest families in the 2nd world or 1st world. They are the humblest of all. And its not true that they are all supported by their government. Its just a matter if will for a change and having a positive outlook.

      • That bit is kind of obvious it’s real. But what I don’t get is the negative reaction towards this article. I laughed the hell out of reading this. I might’ve thrown some rocks at the article which contained the legitimate information surrounding this political decision. But this? No, i’d rather laugh. :))

  3. What else is new? Dati na nilang trabaho yan. Kaya dumadami yan kasi kinukunsinte ng mga local executives. Kawawang Pnoy, I hope he doesn’t fall into the trap. Dapat, bibigyan lang sila ng pera kung babalik na sila sa probinsiya, kung saan ang karamihan sa kanila ay may sariling mga lupa at tirahan. Since the DSWD is getting the biometrics of these people now, it will be easier to find out kung pabalik balik lang sila. If they insist on returning and squatting again, pwede na silang ikulong dahil criminal act ang kanilang ginagawa. I hope Pnoy uses an iron hand, one term lang naman siya eh. Sana gawin niya itong legacy ng term niya hanggang may 3 yrs pa siyang natitira.

  4. hindi naman papaalisin ng mga local govt. officials yan. papaano botante din nila yan. suhol dito suhol dun.. tpos ngayon meron para sa kanila? kawawa naman yung mga taong nag papakahirap talaga para magkatrabaho at sila.. naka nganga? habang sumasalo ng biyaya mula sa mga nag babayad ng tax? kawawang pilipino.. kailan pa tayo uunlad kung puro katamaran ang pinapaairal..

  5. Umuwi na at magsibalik na kayo kung saan mang probinsya kayo nanggaling! magtanim at mangisda at magbanat ng buto gawin niyo, hindi magskwater at umasa sa gobyerno!

  6. Dapa’t ang mahuling nanamantala sa magandang hangaring ito ng gobyerno ay hindi 18,000.00 ang matanggap kundi 18 taon na pagkakabilanggo.

  7. buti pa sila may pambili ng IPAD at Galaxy Tab, mga ordinaryong government employees hikahos na sa araw-araw na trabaho pero hindi naman nakakatanggap ng 18k na parang biyayang nalaglag sa langit. Yung totoo talaga? ubos-biyaya tong mga to,

  8. ganyan naman talaga ibang mga Pinoy eh
    samin pag bumaha kahit yun mga di inabot pupunta ng munisipyo makakuha lang ng relief goods
    di na nila iniisip yung mga tunay na nangangailangan

  9. after a year maguumpisa n nman ang mga yan n mag squat pabalik balik lang ang mga yan bakit kaya di sila pauwiin s mga provincya nila para doon magumpisa ng buhay nila sure mas maganda yon diba kesa i rerelocate eh wla nman tarbaho ,mas good s kani kanilang pinanggalingan sila dalhin yon oh!

  10. Pls dont put the blame on squaters. wala pa sa kalingkingan nang kaya nyong isipin paghihirap ang mga nararanasan nila. Kung alam nyo lang, sa kagustuhan nilang makaranas nang magandang buhay ay nakakaisip sila nang kung anu anong paraan para kahit paano ay maranasan ito. It may be wrong na unahin nila bumili nang gadgets kaysa pangkabuhayan nila, but the hell, mayayaman lang ba may karapatan bumili nito, naiisip nyo ba na nagiging panakip nalang sa hirap na dalahin nila ang maka-achieve nang pansamantalang kaligayan. If you were in their shoes, desperate to have a good live, siguradong maiisip nyo rin iyon. Now, who’s to blame? eh sino pa, yung mga hindi makaintindi at mga matapobre na ang alam lang ay pagyamanin ang sarili nila, its your taxes? yeah!! its your obligation, so you should make any harsh talk about it.

    • Wow… Kami pa ngayon ang hindi makaintindi…

      “wala pa sa kalingkingan nang kaya nyong isipin paghihirap ang mga nararanasan nila” – paano mo nasabi ‘to? Alam mo ba ang dinaranas na hirap ng isang manggagawa na nagsusumikap na buhayin ang pamilya nya sa MARANGAL na paraan?

      “It may be wrong na unahin nila bumili nang gadgets kaysa pangkabuhayan nila, but the hell, mayayaman lang ba may karapatan bumili nito, naiisip nyo ba na nagiging panakip nalang sa hirap na dalahin nila ang maka-achieve nang pansamantalang kaligayan.” – WTF?! Anong klaseng logic yan? Kung ilalapat natin yan sa mga middle class eh di ganito labas nyan: Pera namin ito, pinaghirapan at pinagpaguran. Bakit namin ito ibibigay sa inyo?

      “If you were in their shoes, desperate to have a good live, siguradong maiisip nyo rin iyon.” – How can you be so sure na if they were in our shoes they wouldn’t feel this way too?

      “Now, who’s to blame? eh sino pa, yung mga hindi makaintindi at mga matapobre na ang alam lang ay pagyamanin ang sarili nila, its your taxes? yeah!! its your obligation, so you should make any harsh talk about it.” – This just doesn’t make any sense.

      We work hard. We pay taxes. I think we deserve the 18k more than most of these so called “informal settlers”.

      • Did I say put the blame on you? are you guilty?, o isa ka sa gahaman na mayayaman na sarili lang iniisip na ang gusto lang pagyamanin ay ang sarili nya. at gano ka kasigurado na ang “tax mo” ay sa kanila napunta? my point is, dont put the person “squaters” as the subject of this matter, the focus here is the solution, a good solution.

      • Oh! by the way! galing ako sa hirap! Someone like you will “never” understand, kung anu man ang pinagdaan ko. it is useless to tell my personal story.

    • I have seen a lot of documentaries from Kara, Joe Taruc, etc, about these poor rural folks. Kaya sila mahirap ay maling pagsusumikap, and they refuse to work harder, work more effectively, or dream..yung karamihan tamad lang talaga. Katulad ng nangunguha ng yantok sa bundok, e puede naman sila magtanim ng mangga, o ibang prutas at mga gulay doon sa paligid nila, ed di extra income ito sana. Yung iba naman umaasa na lang sa menor de edad na mga anak para manguha ng binhi ng alimango, o manisid ng isda at shells. Masagana ang lupang Pilipinas…pero huwag naman umasa na pipitasin na lang lagi ang mga prutas!!
      Sa Taiwan pag nag-ani ng Lunes..Martes hinahanda na mga bukid nila..dito sa Pinas..palilipasin pa Undas..maka_pasko na tayo magtanim…or pagkatapos ng Pista ni San Kulas..kaya mas marami istambay kesa sa kilos.
      oooppsss..satire nga pala ito..masyado ako serioso…LOL

    • are you high on drugs? WTF are you talking about? most of us work for a living and not just sit around and do nothing! Even if you teach these people on how to live the right way, they tend to go back to what they really are, tamad.

    • are you stupid? did you ever experience earning your own money the hard way? if so, will you be willing to give that hard earned money to some poor people so that they can buy gadgets that you don’t even have?

  11. Only in the Philippines do you see squatters with flat screen color TVs, washing machines, fridges, houses made of concrete and hollow blocks, cable TV connections…and they even have the nerve to put steel windows and grills!! ibig sabihin maraming mananakaw at maraming magnanakaw!

  12. give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime. more than anything else i think trabaho ang kailangan nila

  13. Finding employment should be an easy obstacle to overcome. That’s the only way to hold accountable those who choose NOT to work (including the lazy), with everyone agreeing on holding them accountable. Everyone agreeing means that it will be politically feasible, and done in a humane way. Shouldn’t there be a “decent job for the desperate”? Then we could always ask the question: “Why didn’t you find one of the jobs for the desperate”?

  14. call me rude but… these people are the root cause why there’s too much inequity in this god forsaken place… all i can say is that the diligent tax payers are the one’s suffering while those whose done nothing but sit on their silly asses are the one’s being pampered.. shame.. such a shame…

  15. It’s hard to differentiate satire/sarcasm from actual news online, without vocal inflections and body language to help us interpret. i was convinced for a while but i’m glad this is just satirical.

    If this were true… I’d say it’s a good time to call in an airstrike.

  16. what we need is a restart.. make a new hitler and just eradicate them. after that, make this a lesson and move forward

  17. Squatters should use their minds. First, They steal the land of the government, then they are the ones to refuse to demolish their houses. Second, they will leave their houses when the government will give them money (as if the government is paying them to leave their houses.) It is no right that the government should pay them a lot because they are the ones who should pay the government.But still we should not accuse the government. Maybe they caused just a little about this problem, but paying the squatters is one of their ways to finish this problem.

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