Malacañang Signs Executive Order 66 Creating the ‘Department of Outrage and Morality’

dom_logoMANILA, Philippines — President Aquino formally signed Executive Order 66, s. 2013 creating the Department of Outrage and Morality (DOM) that seeks to help Filipinos distinguish between right and wrong or good and bad behavior.

“It is a declared policy of the State to uphold the people’s constitutional rights to a life filled with morally good manners and morally right conduct and to promote the general welfare of its people at all times, protecting their pride during times of criticism.”

“We shall be the guiding light of the masses and determine what is right from wrong,” said newly appointed DOM secretary Teodorico Baclani.

He added, “With E.O. 66, we expect the Filipinos to shun morally incorrect standards in our society, to be branded by our department as traitors to the Republic of the Philippines and call for the immediate execution of such practices without question or hesitation.”

DOM Assistant Secretary Melvin Kastrato shall be in charge of monitoring same-sex attraction and seeing to it that it does not lead to a homosexual relationship.

President Aquino during the announcement of E. Order 66 in Malacañang.

“We will not pre-judge people experiencing an identity crisis regarding their sexual orientation,” said Kastrato.

But ironically, he was quick to point out that he hopes that families should “intervene and help” people suffering from such.

The former executive secretary of the Catholic Bishop Conference of the Philippines (CBCP) Epaliscopal Commission on Family and Life also said that their department will be the one in charge of saying whether a joke is offensive or not.

Joke’s like the controversial Pugad Baboy comic strip would have to go through strict and rigorous deliberations in front of a five-man panel before being published.

“We have strict requirements when it comes to jokes,” said Baclani. “Knock-knock jokes are generally OK, but jokes about homosexuality as well as those about the church is definitely a no-no.

“In fact, we just ‘reported as spam’ a tweet that says, ‘the church is not full of hypocrites, there’s always room for more,’ just this morning,” revealed Kastrato.

Malacañang also added that from now on, the department would be the one tasked to write letters to book authors, critics, websites, bloggers and etc, whenever their artistic view is not on the same wavelength as that of millions of Filipinos.

“Whether it be a fictional book, a satire, parody, an open letter or other outlets that would enrage the Filipino people and their pride, rest assured that we would be there to protect the sensitivity of the insecure,” said Baclani.

“That’s where the outrage part of our name comes in.”

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P.S. Thank you to Dr. Clinton for the inspiration & idea for this article. 

2 thoughts on “Malacañang Signs Executive Order 66 Creating the ‘Department of Outrage and Morality’

  1. Published on the 7th, and still no comments? hmmmmm… did this one strike too close to home with the readership, or did it go over everyone’s head?

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