MAKATI, Philippines — With only two days left before 52 million registered Filipino voters head to their respective precinct to cast their votes, United Nationalist Alliance (UNA) senatorial candidate Nancy Binay held an impromptu press conference early Saturday morning at her residence for her to make an announcement to the Filipino people.
“Thank you all for coming to this last minute press conference,” said a spokesperson for Binay. “With Monday fast approaching, it is with great confidence for me to introduce your newest senator, Nancy Binay!”
“Salamat po at nakarating kayo. Maaaring nagtataka kayo kung bakit ako nagpatawag tayo ng press conference (Thank you all for coming. You might be wondering why I called for a press conference),” said an unkempt Binay, who was still in her pajamas and looked like she just woke up.
“May napanaginipan ako kagabi (Last night, I had a dream),” narrated Binay. “Senador na daw ako at gumanda na daw ang buhay ng mga Pilipino (I was a senator and the welfare of the Filipino people was beautiful).“
“Nung isang araw lang, binilhan ako ni Mommy ng mga damit at sapatos na pangSenado eh . Kaya masasabi ko na sigurado na ang tagumpay ko (Just the other day, mommy bought me a full set of wardrobe for me to wear to the senate. That is why I’m confident to say that my victory is inevitable).”
She went on to add, “Kaya sa mga wala pa ding tiwala o di kaya’y hindi matanggap ang siguradong mangyayari (pause) bahala kayo sa buhay nyo (So to all my detractors who has no faith in my capabilities (pause) that’s your problem)! “
When asked by a member of the press how confident she was, the inexperienced candidate quipped, “Confident na confident! Made na made na talaga ako.“
But the overconfident candidate did not stop there. Before handing the microphone back to her spokesperson, Binay made another shocking announcement.
“In fact, sobrang confident ako na mananalo ako, no matter what, na hinahamon ko ang sambayanang Pilipino na huwag akong iboto sa Lunes (In fact, I am so confident of my victory that I dare the entire Filipino people to not vote for me this coming Monday)!”
When asked to repeat what she just said to avoid confusion, she said: “Inuulit ko. Sa mga boboto sa akin sa darating na Lunes, huwag nyo na akong iboto (I repeat. To everyone who’s considering voting for me this coming Monday, don’t. Don’t vote for me)!”
The previously soft-spoken Binay was now oozing with confidence and bravado that she went on to add, “Sa mga boboto sa akin, please lang ibigay nyo nalang ang boto nyo kay Falcone o di kaya kay Penson (To everyone who will vote for me, please kindly give your vote to either Falcone or Penson instead).
“In fact, let’s make it more interesting. Dinedare ko kayo na ibigay nyo ang boto nyo kay Risa Hontiveros imbes na sa akin (I dare you to instead give your vote to Risa Hontiveros instead of me).“
“Tinitiyak ko sa inyo na mananalo pa din ako (I guarantee you all that I will still come out the victor)!”
After that, the press conference was over.
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