PAGASA: Summer Has Ended. “Extreme Summer” Officially Here.

extreme_summerMANILA, Philippines — Seventeen days since officially declaring the start of the summer season, the Philippine Atmospheric, Geophysical and Astronomical Services Administration (PAGASA) has announced that it has already officially ended and thus a new season begins.

The state weather bureau PAGASA announced that the less hotter easterlies, moist and warm winds from the Pacific Ocean moving from east to west in the lower latitudes of the equator that is the basis for the summer season, has ended thus signaling the start of even more hotter, more humid weather across the country.

“We are here to announce the discovery of  a new season called ‘extreme summer’,” said Mario Falapox, senior weather forecaster for PAGASA while making a quotation mark sign with his fingers. “It is the  stopover season between the journey of our country’s climate from summer to the rainy season.”

Falapox said that people walking on the street looking like they just came out of the shower was the bureau’s primary indicator of the onset of ‘extreme summer’.

“Prepare for even hotter temperatures,” added PAGASA Administrator Luigi Falapox. “We’re talking 40 to 45 degrees. 50, tops.”

The weather bureau reminded citizens to take the necessary precautions in these times of hot weather and offered the following tips:

  • Drink lots of water to stay hydrated and prevent heat stroke. 
  • Always bring your beach towel even if not on the beach.
  • Wear proper clothing. Varsity jackets are NOT proper summer attires, no matter how “cool” you think you look wearing them.
  • Also, leather jackets are a no-no! Only Daniel Padilla can pull that off.
  • Stay home and lock yourself inside an air-conditioned room for 6 to 8 hours. *(This tip is brought to you by: Meralco)
  • Contain your urge to rush out the house when you hear the motorcade of a candidate approaching. A few pieces of candy, calendars and t-shirts are not worth getting blasted by the scorching sun.
  • On that note, challenge candidates you despise to dance the Harlem Shake or Gangnam between 10 am to 3 pm, when the sun’s intensity is at the highest.
  • Avoid joining fun runs that starts in the afternoon. You can always show off your running gears on other earlier, less hotter fun runs.
  • For users of skin-whitening products, avoid getting in contact with the sun’s rays. All those money spent on bottles and bottles of papaya products would go to waste.
  • If budget permits, go see a movie repeatedly. Choose between ‘It Takes a Man and a Woman’,  ‘My Lady Boss’ or ‘Iron Man 3’.
  • Buy one of those milk teas that’s all the rage these days. Too expensive? Split the cost and share with 3 or 4 friends, but don’t mention it when you upload the photo of the drink on Instagram or Facebook. #milktea #thirst #quencher #instacool #this #is #the #life
  • Refrain from mimicking the things your favorite celebrities are doing out in the sun as depicted in their network’s station IDs. They are professionals. Please do not try them at home.

Be safe and stay cool.


5 thoughts on “PAGASA: Summer Has Ended. “Extreme Summer” Officially Here.

  1. hello, sws… “We’re talking 40 to 45 degrees. 50, tops.” 😉 this is cool, amidst the weather, huh? 😉 i ilke the poker-faced sound of the Pag-asa’s announcement, you know?

    extreme nga! am melting as i type this, see? and the season’s hardly begun, huh… am trying my best to maintain my integrity (haha) though, and staying cool, as you so aptly suggested. 🙂

    happy season of the sun! ~ San

What did you think about this SATIRICAL article? Share your thoughts below.

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s