UNA Replaces Chiz, Loren & Grace Poe With Three More Binays

unaMANILA, Philippines — After releasing a statement saying that the United Nationalist Alliance is dropping re-electionist senators  Francis “Chiz” Escudero, Loren Legarda and former Movie and Television Review and Classification Board (MTRCB) Chair Grace Poe from their senatorial slate, UNA campaign manager Toby Tiangco announced the three candidates that will replace them.

“I would like to introduce the newest members of UNA that would continue the crusade that our former guest candidates could not bring to the table,” boasts Tiangco.  “Please give a round of applause to Anne, JM and Paolo!”

At this point, siblings Maritoni “Anne” Angelou Binay and Joanna Margarita Blanca “JM” Binay, together with their second cousin Romeo Martin “Paolo” Binay came up on stage waving to the crowd as the campaign jingle for Nancy Binay is playing in the background. UNA’s PR personnel started handing out information sheets pertaining to the newly announced candidates.

  • Maritoni “Anne” Angelou Binay is 42 years old, worked as a telephone operator at her mother’s clinic, and then transferred to her dad’s office because of her exceptional skill in making that perfectly brewed coffee.  Her platform is: “Kay Anne Binay, sasarap ang buhay!”
  • Joanna Margarita Blanca “JM” Binay is 39 years old. She also worked at their mother’s clinic as Anne’s secretary, where she answers the phone first before handing it to her sister. She also transferred to Makati, but this time at her brother, Junjun’s office where she files all the documents in a neatly order and alphabetized them weekly. Her platform is : “Kay JM Binay, magiging maayos ang buhay!”
  • Romeo Martin “Paolo” Binay is 34 years old, turning 35 on May 9th and is the second cousin of the Binay siblings. He is the stepson of the vice president’s elder brother’s son, to which Tiangco was quick to clarify that Paolo still carries Binay’s “dynasty of service.” Paolo was working as a parking attendant, jeepney barker, assisting the elderly cross the street and helping people with their driver’s license renewal at various Land Transportation Office (LTO) branches before being tapped as a replacement. His platform is: “Kay Binay, yayaman ang Binay buhay!”

According to all three, even as a child, their strong point was towards public service which  makes it their strong (and only) point.

“We were all raised to be leaders in our country,” added JM Binay.

binaysThe three promises a perfect attendance for all campaign sorties, unlike their predecessors, due to the laid back and easy-going schedules their previous job entailed.

Itinuro ko muna yun tamang timpla nung kape sa kapalit ko habang nangangampany kami (I just taught my replacement the right mixture of coffee while I’m away),” said Anne Binay.

This early, UNA is boasting that all three are already on the “Magic 12”, joining Nancy Binay, if their recent survey is to be believed. According to Tiangco, “They have already surpassed and overtaken Chiz, Loren and Poe at the top.”

Stay tuned for more developments.

18 thoughts on “UNA Replaces Chiz, Loren & Grace Poe With Three More Binays

  1. Its a good thing that the 3 candidates are officially not associated with UNA anymore. They will do better in LP, daang matuwid!

  2. Sa ginawa ng UNA para na din nilang nilaglag ang partido nila, mahina na nga sila mas lalo pa nila pinahina ang pangangampanya nila.Kilala at sikat ang tatlo. Yun ang mali nila.

  3. Now that’s political dynasty at its finest! Our political circus sure is getting wackier as days pass.

    – ‘Yan ang comment ko kung sakaling totoo ang article na ito. Kaso, alam kong fake ito, eh. Anyways, I like Paolo Binay’s platform: Kay Paolo Binay, yayaman ang Binay buhay!

  4. Voted for Binay last election for the VP. Having many BINAYs in the senate is a no-no for me.. There’s a lot of other qualified and more competent senate bets out there. I am against political dynasty…

  5. Si vice president naman po naging sutil din po sa panahon ni cory dito nag umpisa ang pagyaman kaya maganda ang kanilang pangalan puro binay aran ,na ang bawat kilos sa kanilang serbisyo, pasensiya na po ito ang paniwala sa karamihan

  6. Ang pangarap ng ating mga kababayan ay ang pagbabago noon pa pero hindi nangyayari dahil lahat sila ay puro manloloko, umpisa kay enrile hanggang sa konsehal ng barangay, puro lokoloko,

  7. Mga kapatid lahat na nasa gobyerno natin obserbahan lang natin mabuti,umpisahan natin sa presidente, ang mga magulang nito ay traidor pala ang mga ninono pala nito ay makapili noong panahon ng hapon dati pa pala silang angkan ng traidor na , so ano solusyon dapat wag nang iboto ang mga traidor dahil ganoon din ang gagawin nila sa ating bansa,

  8. Why did I discover this site just now??? Hahaha I can’t get enough of the articles!

    It is so tragic that a lot of Pinoys are even considering voting Nancy Binay whose only credential is her family name (which is not even worthy of a barangay post!).. My goodness, zero track record and she gets a spot at the Senate??? Assistant of her parents??? my foot!!!

    Sad state of our nation and the kind of people we have: Nancy Binay no 6 in the surveys and Risa Hontoveros is at the 15th spot??? Wake up people, otherwise we will have coffee makers, file arrangers and jeepney barkers (pero Binay naman sila, kahit illusion lang) as public “servants”…

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