Santa Claus Moves to Vacate Post But Elves & Reindeer Vote to Retain Him

santaNORTH, Pole — Amidst allegations of poor working conditions and unfair treatment, Saint Nicholas, more famously known as Santa Claus on Monday, move to resign from his position as official bearer of gifts and happiness during Christmas eve and declared his post as “vacant”.

Claus asked the members present, composed of elves and 9 reindeer to immediately put his motion to a vote, and Majority Sleigh Leader & Santa’s favorite  Rudolph “Red Nose” Reindeer quickly informed the body of Santa’s motion.

“I ask that my motion be immediately put to a vote to pave the way for Dasher, Vixen, Prancer, or anyone else here who may share the same sentiments against my leadership and who may be secretly interested in this job, the chance to be nominated and to seek the majority’s support to be elected as the new leader of this workshop,” Santa said.

He was referring to allegations made by Prancer, one of the reindeer as well as Buddy, human resources manager of the Elves’ Workshop, of favoritism and unfair treatment.

“We got only half of what others got,” said Buddy, in an interview last week. “Compared that to others who got a huge sum of compensation, an iPod Nano and additional monthly benefits for 2013.”

The controversy has fueled talks to oust Santa.

Upon the motion of Rudolph, Workshop Manager Odin put the motion to a vote, with 118 elves and 5 reindeer voting against, 39 elves & 3 reindeer in favor and no abstentions.

“Whether or not I continue to have the trust and support of my colleagues in leading this Workshop is a matter that lies purely in their hands to decide. I serve at the pleasure of all the children around the world. I claim no vested right to this high position. No one has,” he said.

Kids around the world who were on the “nice” column of Santa’s list expressed joy that the portly, joyous, white-bearded man who gave them iPads, Wii Us, 42″ LED TVs and other luxurious gifts last Christmas got to retain his post.

However, children who were not able to receive any gifts because of being on the “naughty” column said that Santa was able to retain his post only because of the said luxurious gifts in the first place.

5 thoughts on “Santa Claus Moves to Vacate Post But Elves & Reindeer Vote to Retain Him

  1. ROFL Vixen FTW! Kaso she’s in a really bad shape right now. Bakit si Prancer prancer at si Dasher dasher? Or am I confusing the two?

  2. The North Pole’s work charter has been tightened recently after the tragic death of an Oomploompa at Willy Wonka’s chocolate factory and government officials have told Santa that the workshop will remain closed until he stumps up the money to meet the proper safety criteria.

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