MANILA, Philippines — After the recent discovery of the Teen Pregnancy Doll being sold in Divisoria last week, SWN is proud to present the Top 8 Holiday Gift Ideas for Filipinos.
The 2012 Top 8 Holiday Gift Ideas for Filipinos:
1. The Zoren Legaspi Bolster Pillow
After surprising his wife with a proposal and wedding ceremony on the same day, Zoren Legaspi became the “IT” guy for all hopeless romantics in the country. His “Pogi Points” skyrocketed to insane levels on that day. Give the gift of love this Christmas with the Zoren Legaspi Bolster Pillow™.
Made from 100% cotton and measuring at almost 6ft; this intricately sewn pillow with a printed life size Zoren on the front, is the perfect gift for your hopeless romantic friends, and friends who will be spending the holidays alone.
Also available: BB. Gandanghari Bolster Pillow
2. The It-Should-Be-The-Job-Of-The-PNP CCTV Package
With the crime rate on the rise and the Philippine National Police playing a cat & mouse game with the perpetrators, it is now time to take matters into your own hands.
Equip your homes or your business establishments with state-of-the-art security surveillance set-up. Nothing would bring joy to your loved ones that by giving them the gift of security.
Because if the authorities cannot prevent a crime from happening in the first place, the next logical step would be to watch the crime happen on the screen a day after the crime has been committed.
3. The Definitive How Not To Fall For Get Rich Quick Scheme Book
Upon paying a membership fee, subscribers would be able to receive volume 1 of this fifty volume set. With every successful referral, you’ll be able to add to your knowledge on how not to fall victim for get rich quick schemes. You’ll want to complete every book because there is a cliffhanger ending in each volume, until you have reached the final one.
So, what are you waiting for? Start inviting your family, friends & Mayors, because the best gift you can give them is the power of knowledge.
4. CBCP “Dotted” Condoms
That is why they have decided to embrace contraceptive usage by giving away their own brand of “dotted” condoms.
These lubricated condoms, are strategically “dotted” with holes by priests using a blessed but sharp pin, so that the sperm would be able to penetrate the ovum. A perfect Christmas gift for your on-the-fence semi-Catholic friends. The CBCP is calling it the “ethnic cleansing” gift for all Pro-RH Bill advocates.
5. The KC5000 Gaydar
With the help of Rainbow Tech, KC is proud to unveil her latest product endorsement: The KC5000 Gaydar
Equipped with state-of-the-art analytic technology, the KC5000 scans a ‘target’ by calculating the squeal factor of his voice, his testosterone levels, the ratio of his strut and sway while walking and other scientific factors; all by pointing the device at your suitor, boyfriend, husband or neighbor.
The actress was apparently so impressed with the device that she mentioned in an interview that her current French suitor is the “real thing”. A “true gentleman.”
6. Senator Tito Sotto’s First Solo Debut Album: Christmas In Our Hearts
The controversial Tito Sotto decided to go back to his roots and is proud to release his first solo debut album.
Entitled Christmas In Our Hearts, the album contains 16 original Christmas compositions including the carrier single Christmas In Our Hears, as well Do You Hear What I Hear, Mary’s Boy Child, A Perfect Christmas, A Wish on Christmas Night, and other Christmas songs.
During the album launching, Sotto was asked what his inspiration was for releasing a Christmas album. “Besides fighting the RH Bill, God also put me here to sing. To sing original songs that I have written for the Filipino people. “
7. Doble Kara Charice Pempengco Costume™
When the sales of the Charice Pempengco Doble Kara/Two Face Costume™ did not meet expectations last Halloween, the manufacturer has decided to sell the costume at a discount this Christmas for every Filipino to enjoy.
Confused whether you prefer the personality and looks of Charice with her surname or without? Why worry if you can try it on yourself , all at the same time?
Introducing the Doble Kara Charice Pempengco Costume™. This set comes with half conservative/teeny style wardrobe and half the edgy wardrobe that Charice currently prefers. It also comes with a half of a blonde wig and a longer brunette hair for the other side. Accessories includes microphone, extra large eyepiece, and additional tattoos. Bonus half spike jacket half princess gown replacement wardrobe.
Practice smiling with only one side of your lip while making sure to frown or not to smile on the other to get the complete “look”.
Great for Christmas parties, Noche Buenas and Media Noches.
8. The Nokia 5110 Touch Smartphone
It’s the Nokia 5110 that you all know from 1998. Touch screen. Android. ‘Nuff said.
For the full list of specifications, click here.