Team Pacquiao Coming Up With New Alibis In Case of Defeat

LOS ANGELES, California — With Manny Pacquiao busy training for his upcoming fight against Juan Manuel Marquez, a few select members of Team Pacquiao are busy brainstorming new reasons or alibis in case the People’s Champ is defeated by El Dinamita on their match this December 8 at the MGM Grand Garden in Las Vegas.

Team Paquiao PR Manager Jaime Baliling, as well as Head Chef Randy Tapaya are busy toiling away here at the Wild Card Gym, coming up with new ways to justify a Pacquiao loss in the hands of Marquez.

Lahat tayo gusto manalo si Manny (We all want Manny to win),” said Baliling. “Pero minsan ang panalo ay hindi ganun kadaling makamit (But sometimes a victory is not that easy to attain).”

Kaya narito kami para magisip ng mga rason at palusot kung sakaling matalo ang ating Pambansang Kamao (We are here to think of reasons or alibis in case our Pambansang Kamao loses),” said Tapaya, while cooking Pacquiao’s favorite Chicken Tinola dish.

With the help of boxing analyst Chino Trinidad and sports commentator Quinito Henson, the team has already come up with a list of phrases that they will use. Some lines will be used during the fight, when Marquez seems to be gaining an upper hand; and others  to be used after the fight.

“Manny is the best specimen the boxing world has ever seen,” said Henson “It’s no wonder that Mayweather is afraid of facing him in the ring.”

Trinidad quipped in, “Hangang-hanga talaga ako dito sa determinasyon ni Manny na manalo para sa Pilipinas.  Handa syang magbuwis ng buhay para sa atin (I really admire Manny’s determination to win for the Philippines. He is ready to risk his life just for us).”

“Isa syang magiting na bayani (He is one brave hero),” added Trinidad, while gushing in the mouth.

The following is what Team Pacquiao was able to come up with.

Lines to be used during the match: 

  • When Marquez lands a beautiful combination – “Wala. Walang naramdaman si Manny.
  • When Marquez hits a solid uppercut – “Nakita mo yun Chino? Mintis!
  • “When you give Manny two punches, he answer you with two more!”
  • When Manny starts to slow down due to fatigue – “Nakita mo yan Quinito? Kunyareng pagod sya para malinlang ang kalaban. Talagang napakagaling na boksingero itong si Manny.
  • Si Manny, sasaluhin nya lahat ng suntok. Kahit maging lumpo na sya, gagawin nya lahat yun para sa sambayanang Pilipino.” – Chino Trinidad
  • When Manny gets knocked down – “Chinecheck lang nya ang kalidad ng inaapakan nyang sahig.
  • When Manny is unable to stand up after being knocked down – “Ganyan ka metikuloso si Manny. Sisiguraduhin nya talaga ang kalidad nito kahit na ang katumbas ay ang matalo sya.
  • Nadaya tayo! Nadaya tayo!”
  • “There’s a robbery in Las Vegas!” <- Texted by Romy Nathanielz

Post fight reasons/alibis in case Pacquiao loses to Marquez:

  • Manny used a different brand of shaving cream earlier that day.
  • The chicken used in the Tinola was not fresh.
  • Distractions during training.
  • The ethnic cleansing being endorsed/promoted by Pro-RH Bill advocates.
  • His mind was concentrating on next year’s dynasty election.
  • It was God’s will.
  • Mommy Dionisia prayed hard for Manny to lose, so that he will quit boxing.

Hindi ka na makakakita ng isa pang Manny Pacquiao,” said Trinidad. “Matalo man sya, alam nating mga Pilipino, sa puso natin, na nanalo pa rin ang ating Pambansang Kamao.

Related story:

OMB: Pacquiao – Maquez III DVD Sold in Quiapo are Fakes.


8 thoughts on “Team Pacquiao Coming Up With New Alibis In Case of Defeat

  1. Pingback: Larger Boxing Ring Requested by Politicians Attending Pacquiao-Marquez Fight « So, What's News?

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