Protesters Masturbated in Front of Enrile Residence

MANILA, Philippines — A group of protesters stormed Senate President Juan Ponce Enrile’s Makati residence earlier today and demanded to put the Reproductive Health (RH) Bill to a vote and challenged him to save lives.

Jaime Procopio, leader of the group Men Against Men Against  Women’s  Appanage to Welfare and  Aid (MAMAWAWA) along with 30 of its members held a program via a makeshift platform that they have constructed just outside the gates of the Senate President’s house.

Security was immediately tightened but the group promised a peaceful demonstration, hence they were allowed to continue, but was given only one hour to air their grievances.

The group demanded Enrile to put the bill to a vote and prevent additional “stupid amendments” from being proposed.

Please lang Manong Johnny, tigilan na ang mga walang kwentang debate (Please Mang Johnny, let us stop this nonsense debate),” said Procopio. “Dekada na ang naisayang habang ang mga nanay at patuloy na namamatay (Decades have passed while the mothers are dying).”

Gerald Llamada, also a member of MAMAWAWA shouted, “Pakisabi na rin kay Recto na obvious na ang pagiging ‘pro-business‘ nya, mapa E-Vat man yan, sigarilyo, alak at ospital (Kindly tell Recto also that his ‘pro-business’ stance is already obvious, whether it’s E-Vat, cigarettes, alcohol and hospitals)!”

The group then repeatedly shouted all together, “Mother’s welfare is more important than sperms! Mother’s welfare is more important than sperms!”

At this point, all of them began undressing their pants and undergarments, and started masturbating all at the same time.

The security personnel blocking the gates scampered as the group threatened to “unload” their load on them if they will not move away.

With a clear view of the gates, the group started to show signs that they were about to reach their climax.

At this point, a ruckus could be heard inside Enrile’s residence, where he was shouting commands at his house help to gather pails  and tabo.

Inday! Inday!” shouted Enrile. “Bilisan nyo dahil lalabas na ang mga babies!”

But before the house helps could come out with their pails, the group has already unloaded at the gates. After wearing their undergarments and pants, the group immediately dispersed.

In the end, Enrile was left helpless, crying in front of his house, as the ‘babies’ started to drip down from the top of his gate, all the way down to the street.

17 thoughts on “Protesters Masturbated in Front of Enrile Residence

  1. It’s a sticky situation, right there. Probably, the whole property smells of detergent and “clorox”. And that was even before they started cleaning the wholes mess. I would have to laud these men, though, them having a firm grip on reality. Hee-hee!

  2. ehrmahgawd some of the comments above just proves most of the interwebs are filled with morons who do not know satire even when it dick-slaps them in the face

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