China Behind Pacquiao Defeat?

MANILA, Philippines — Manny Pacquiao lost a very controversial match against Timothy Bradley Sunday morning (Saturday evening in Las Vegas), with many boxing viewers and fans wondering what happened and who to blame for the “robbery” that happened.

It would be the first loss since 2005 for the ‘People’s Champ’ after losing via split decision to the ‘Desert Storm’, who is now the new WBO World Welterweight champion. Judges CJ Ross and Duane Ford scored it in favor of Bradley while Judge Jerry Roth scored it in favor of Pacquiao. Many believed that Pacquiao won the match.

What would seem like a failure or a flaw of the judging system implemented in boxing matches actually goes deeper, if a confidential report coming from Malacañang is to be believed.

A worker sewing up a boxing glove in Tianjin, China

According to our source, the confidential document contains findings by the intelligence community that concludes China as the one who was actually  behind the loss of the country’s prize-fighter. China apparently paid off the judges so that Pacquiao would surely lose the fight when it comes time to judge it. They were confident that the match would go to the scorecards because the gloves that the boxers used were specifically made in a factory in Tianjin, China. Said gloves had special materials that would soften the impact of the punches and minimize the chances of a knockout.  The original plan  was to payoff all the judges so that Pacquiao would lose unanimously, but being stingy that they were, China decided to just go with two judges hence the split decision.

The bribery was all part of the country’s grand scheme to destabilize the Philippines and to demoralize Filipinos, in an operation dubbed “打倒菲律宾人的骄傲 or “Bring Down Pinoy Pride” when translated to English.

This is China’s retaliation against the Philippines due to the ongoing dispute on Scarborough shoal which started a few months back. Authorities believed that China has targeted our weak spot when it decided to attack our pride. “Wala naman kasi tayong military installations or key strategic buildings na puwedeng atakin to speak of (We don’t even have military installations or key strategic building that they can attack to speak of),” said one high-ranking official of the Armed Forces of the Philippines (AFP).

Translated text on ticker:
Mommy D fainted… Hahaha! Hahaha!

Many Filipinos were shocked and upset with the outcome of the boxing match. Even Pacquiao’s mother, Mommy Dionesia, fainted upon hearing the news of her son’s loss. But what is alarming is the fact that China state television network China Central Television (CCTV) featured the fainting incident in a humor inspired segment, similar to that of Marc Logan’s; as propaganda for its people to mock the Philippines.

Recent events that have transpired would lend credence to the findings by Malacañang and would indeed seem like China was behind the following events to demoralize Filipinos:

  • Jessica Sanchez losing to Philip Phillips in American Idol
  • China suspending importation of Philippine bananas
  • Shanghai Sharks cancels goodwill games against Philippine basketball squad
  • Controversial BAYO ad that angered netizens
Dr. Ignacio Sanchez, head of Human Behavioral studies at the Universal College of the Philippines; who recently did a study on criminals, believed that China also perpetuated the outcome of the impeachment trial of then Chief Justice Corona.
“After masterminding the shocking result of Season 11 of American Idol, China then gave hope to the Filipinos when it orchestrated a 20-3 guilty vote for the impeachment of the Chief Justice,” explains Sanchez. “But it then quickly pulled-out the rug underneath us all by cancelling the basketball game,  launching the ‘racist’ ad to  dishearten the Philippines and the shocking results of the boxing match.”
The doctor likens this tactic to a man who humiliates another man by pulling down the latter’s pants in front of the public after rescuing him from the brink of death (i.e. speeding truck, psycho mugger, asthma attack). “It’s catching you off-guard when you least expect it, or when you think that you’re on top of the world,” said Dr. Sanchez. “It’s very disheartening indeed. A perfect one-two-three counter-punch combination”
The confidential report also narrates in detail the final coup de grace of Operation 打倒菲律宾人的骄傲. It describes a strategic pull out of all things Chinese from the Philippines that would ensure total destabilization of the country.
The supposed pull-out mentioned above includes, but are not limited to:
  • Chinabank
  • Allied Bank
  • BDO
  • Jollibee
  • Mc Donalds
  • Chowking
  • SM Malls
  • Robinson’s Malls
  • 168 Mall
  • Puregold
  • Hypermarket
  • Shopwise
  • Philippine Airlines
  • Cebu Pacific
  • Zest Air
  • Mother Lily and Regal Films
  • Tim Yap
  • Papa Chen

The ‘final push’ would anger, dishearten, bankrupt and depress adults and children alike that would send a chilling effect to the entire archipelago. And when the entire nation is down, that is when China would claim victory and proceed to occupy Scarborough Shoal. “If Filipinos are getting depressed by non-favorable contest results, what more would they feel if something big indeed happen,” said a Chinese diplomat who wishes to be unnamed.

The government is already coming up with contingency plans to provide substitutes for the above mentioned services, in case China indeed pushes through with the final stage of their plan.

P.S. Thanks to reader Gilbert for the suggestion.


46 thoughts on “China Behind Pacquiao Defeat?

  1. Please be responsible in writing your articles… kung walang basehan wag nang isulat…….. saka paki cite yung sources nyo para maverify ding ng iba., wag lang illagay na ” according to our sources”, hindi namin alam baka ang sources mo eh yung mga nasa barberya na nagtatalo or yung mga nag dedebate sa luneta…

  2. With the Aquinos being part-Chinese…. won’t they pull out our President and the Queen of All Media, too? Hala! I’m wondering how good it will do all of us if ever 😕

    At buti na lang split na si Vicky Belo and Hayden Kho, otherwise, she would lose her boyfriend all over again (under different circumstances this time). hehe

  3. I knew it!!!! Sabi na nga ba e….Mahirap makumbinsi ang mga tukmol sa kanto pero tama nga hinala mo…. China ang may kagagawan nito. Boboykotin ko na ang pagkain ng Ho Flakes mula ngayon…

  4. Hahaha, this article is obviously a joke you guys, just look at the last 3 things from the list the Chinese are going to pull out of our country.

  5. hahaha, lakas ng tawa ko , isisi ba naman lahat sa China, ayan may nag react tuloy sa taas. lol, nacarried away ng husto si Tukmol.

  6. ….and SWN would be nothing without Tukmol, Was he a part of this satire too? What was it they call them? a Guinea S***.

  7. Hey guys, don’t take this news seriously. this website makes news just to make everyone laugh and have fun….. Relax!!!!!

  8. Pingback: Corona Seeks WBO Investigation After the Latter Declared Pacquiao The Winner « So, What's News?

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