MANILA, Philippines — After announcing the first batch of subjects last March, the Department of Education (DEPED) has revealed the second batch that will be added to a student’s curriculum under the K+12 Program.
To see the 1st batch of subjects announced, click here.
Armin Luistro led the announcement at the agency’s office just in time for next week’s class resumption. Here are the subjects and a brief description of each:
- Swimming 101 – Start of a school year means start of the rainy season, as officially declared by the Philippine Atmospheric, Geophysical and Astronomical Services Administration (PAGASA). And as it is for the whole country, rains bring knee-high floods. To ensure the safety of students, they will be taught basic swimming lessons such as bubbles, floating and breathing under floodwater. Parents will feel at ease knowing that their kids are safe during typhoons, even if the local government does not suspend classes.
- Legalese In Everyday Conversations – Designed to teach the meaning and usage of legal terms such as culpa, malversation, gerrymandering, aliunde and etc. in everyday conversations. Students who finishes this subject would be heard talking like a top-notch lawyer and would always end their sentences/conversations would the word “you honor” or “yerhener”.
- Music 103 – Whitney Houston Hits – A more advanced take on music that focuses on the discography of the late singer. Students would be taught proper singing and proper mouth opening when belting out the singer’s hits. Tops students from all schools would be given government assistance in acquiring a US Visa with a short term goal of appearing in The Ellen Degeneres Show and a long term goal of finally being an American Idol.
- Mental Alphabetical Arrangement – A subject highly lobbied by Ang Prolife after the Commission on Elections (COMELEC) declared that they plan to issue a resolution that will make the listing of party-list groups on the ballot in non-alphabetical order. The subject would hone the student’s ability to mentally arrange names in the ballot alphabetically so that even if Ang Prolife’s entry would be at the bottom, voters would be able to put them on top of their list, mentally and hopefully vote for them. Because naming it Prolife only would not be winnable.
- Basic Self Defense Against Younger People – Recent events show that the age of victims of bullying or attacks is not really necessarily younger as compared to their attacker. Students would be taught how to defend themselves against scratching, hair pulling, slapping, dragging, choking and the occasional child abuse case after the brawl.
- Helmets and Me – Students would be taught not to wear their motorcycle helmets on their elbow or arms. Everyday. Ad nauseam.
- Proper Pronunciation and Spelling of Atsaka – Students would be taught how to say and spell the phrase “as well as” in Filipino. Whether it is atsaka or achaka, the student would know with this common grammar mistake upon finishing the course. This subject is an offshoot of National Telecommunications Commission (NTC) and the Movie and Television Review and Classification Board’s (MTRCB) proposal to monitor the proper pronunciation of WWW in radio and television.
- Health Conditions in Tight Spots – Students would be taught how to act out or fake various medical conditions such as heart attack, hypoglycemia, gastroenteritis, shingles, flu and RARE hormonal disorders. These skills can be used to escape tight spots. Examples are during a robbery, forgetting to bring money on a jeepney ride, getting caught beating the red light, Senate hearings, late for meetings, failure to finish a project on time and electoral sabotage. Basic wheelchair usage would also be taught.
- Shashall Studies – Full course description can be found here. Basically teaches kids proper swag. Word.
Among the added subjects listed above and the ones listed here, what is your favorite? Vote for your pick by leaving a comment below.🙂
P.S. Thanks to reader Happy for pointing out the error and being so calm about it.