Scientists Predict Star Cinema To Run Out Of OPM Songs To Name Their Movies by 2028

MANILA, Philippines — Scientists at the Philippine Society for Science and Technology (PSST) has discovered that film production studio Star Cinema will run out of songs to name their movies by the year 2028.

Using a complex mathematical equation, Dr. Zulfer Kaufman and his team at PSST were able to determine the exact year as to when the film production company has to come up with their own movie titles after they have used ALL Original Pinoy Music (OPM) songs to name their projects.

According to the renowned scientist,  “the rate at which new OPMs are released are very few and far between, but the pace of releasing new movies have caught up. It will only be a matter of time until all songs are used in naming their projects.”

According to Kaufman, from 1993 upto present, Star Cinema has released approximately 50+ movies bearing titles of songs, both OPM and international. With movies such as May Minamahal, Sana Maulit MuliMr. Suave and Muling Ibalik ang Tamis ng Pagibig, scientists has found out that this practice have been left unnoticed. “Sometimes, they will add other words to the original title so that it would not be so obvious, as with the case of Tong Tatlong Tatay Kong Pakitong Kitong, where the song about a crab was used,” said another scientist.

The team also discovered a method where a song title’s spelling would be altered as to avoid suspicion. Such is the case for movies like Bcuz of U and Got 2 Believe. Finally, scientists at PSST has also concluded that adding the word “The Movie” at the end has also been very effective for movies such as Mula sa Puso The Movie and Maalaala Mo Kaya The Movie.

Telenovelas has also been culprit with shows such as Basta’t Kasama Kita,  My Girl, Kung Tayo’y Magkakalayo, Maging Sino Ka Man, and it’s sequel, Maging Sino Ka Man: Ang Pagbabalik. “These are just from ABS-CBN,” according to Kaufman. “Wala pa kami sa GMA,” quipped his assistant.

They added, “We are not singling out Star Cinema and ABS-CBN,  that is why we have decided to include both GMA7 and GMA Films in our future study. For years, they have used the title of the songs for their telenovelas and it is a cause of concern.

If the industry continues this practice according to Dr. Kaufman, they will have to come up with original titles such as Wako Wako, My Cactus Heart and E-Boy, because according to their precise calculations, the Philippine’s movie and television industry will ran out of juice and have until the year 2028 until all the OPM songs has been used up.

The team has forwarded their findings to the Movie and Television Review and Classification Board (MTRCB) as well as to other government agencies concerned, to come up with a permanent solution to this growing dilemma that our country is facing.


12 thoughts on “Scientists Predict Star Cinema To Run Out Of OPM Songs To Name Their Movies by 2028

  1. Instead of studying the movie titles of star cinema, why don’t they study about more important matters than this. -_-

  2. How apt that I came across this one in the middle of Every Breath You Take trailer. I like to believe that Star Cinema people are smart but seems like their creativity is a tad questionable lately. It’s bad enough that there are hardly ever new OPM songs now (thanks to non-stop revivals of most of their talents), seems like they can’t even think of an original movie title >_<

    • I believe it’s Every Breath U Take. They change the “you” to “U” to avoid suspicion, Dr. Kaufman was right! 🙂

      Most (in my recollection) titles, whether movie or tv, seems to be taken from songs. They should not be afraid to use original titles. Look at the success of Praybeyt Benjamin 😛

      Or Felina.

      And how did you came across this article again? hahaha 🙂

      • Was blog surfing while watching AI last night… and that “U” on the title was REALLY brilliant 😛

        We do have a penchant for movie titles with the same soundtrack title. Maybe if River Maya existed then, their Himala would have been the theme for Nora Aunor’s Himala.

        Right on with that Praybeyt Benjamin. But ‘your’ Felina is with ABC5, right? That it has a wiki makes it even more hilarious. 😀

  3. imbes na “isang himalaaaa…” by Rico Blanco, he might sing it as “walang himalaaaa…”

    Wiki entry might have been done by Felina die-hard fans. Who knew?! 😛

    Thanks for liking! 🙂

  4. Or maybe they can do what the james bond movies have been doing for the past 50 years and compoe theit own songs. Wouldnt dream a song called skyfall, yet theres one.

  5. “Song title’s spelling would be altered as to avoid suspicion. Such is the case for movies like Bcuz of U and Got 2 Believe…” Star Cinema is able “to avoid suspicion”, thus, skirting the issue of its responsibility to pay for royalty — from the intellectual property rights of composers/lyricist and/or recording companies — here and abroad.

What did you think about this SATIRICAL article? Share your thoughts below.

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s