LTO Ordered To Increase Urine Specimen Bottle Size After Mar Roxas Got “Pissed” During Test

MANILA, Philippines — The Department of Transportation and Communication (DOTC) has mandated the Land Transportation Office (LTO) to immediately increase the size of the bottles used in urine testing by accredited drug testing centers.

Memorandum Circular No. 2012-5 orders all accredited drug testing centers to increase the size of the bottle, specifically the rim area; used for urine samples in drug testing. The diameter of the rim should not be less than 2inches compared to the current size of 1 inch.

The Memorandum states that all accredited drug testing centers should execute the order within 30 days. Non-compliance to the order would result in the suspension of license to operate while succeeding defiance to the order would result in the revocation or cancellation of the accreditation.

The order came from non other than DOTC Secretary Mar Roxas when he reportedly got pissed, literally, during the drug testing procedure when he had his driver’s license renewed the other day.

When asked to confirm the report, the office of the secretary instead released a statement regarding the memorandum.

“The Department of Transportation and Communication deemed it necessary to mandate all accredited drug testing centers to increase the size of the bottles used for urine samples in drug testing purposes. It is our duty to preserve the integrity of the result of the said test, while maintaining clean and hygienic practices that our citizen’s are to undertake. We hereby tasked the Land Transportation Office to execute this order to all accredited drug testing centers across the country,” said the statement.

We went to a nearby LTO branch to interview some drivers getting their urine tested, to hear what they has to say about the matter. “Matagal na naming nireklamo itong bagay na to, pero ngayon lang na-aksyonan (We’ve been complaining this matter ever since, but it is only now that we have seen some developments)!,” said Mang Berting, a jeepney driver.

Willy Higante, a father of 2; was angrier on what he had to say. “We’ve been pissing on our hands for years because of the small size of the rim on that bottle! Ang hirap talagang i-shoot ang ihi, lalo na pag malaki ang kwan mo! Bakit kailangan pa na ang isang opisyal ang maiihan tska nila papalitan yan (It’s really difficult to shoot your load, especially if you have a huge ****! Why did it took an official to get peed before it was changed)?”

A lady driver who wish to be unnamed, told us that they have difficulties with the bottle as well. “I’m glad they’ve decided to remedy it. If men finds it difficult, what more to us women; who has to squat, align the bottle, and pee on it, all at the same time?”

4 thoughts on “LTO Ordered To Increase Urine Specimen Bottle Size After Mar Roxas Got “Pissed” During Test

What did you think about this SATIRICAL article? Share your thoughts below.

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s