Arroyo to Ask Court’s Permission to Allow Her to Use Firecrackers

MANILA, Philippines — After Judge Jesus Mupas of Pasay RTC, denied Gloria Macapagal Arroyo a Christmas furlough from 12/23/11 to 01/02/12 due to security concerns, the Pampanga lawmaker will now ask the court to allow her to use firecrackers on New Year’s eve inside the compound of Veteran’s Memorial Medical Center (VMMC).

Citing traditions as their main reason, the camp of Arroyo is hoping that Judge Mupas would consider this small request in the spirit of giving hope to the embattled ex-leader, especially during the New Year, where hope is at it’s highest.

“If the courts will not allow her to spend Christmas and New Year at Mrs. Arroyo’s house in La Vista, then we hope that they would allow this simple request,”  said Lawyer Raul Lambino.

This early, Lambino thinks that the chances of the request being granted is 50/50. He said Arroyo is in high spirits and very hopeful of it being granted, because of the Christmas and New Year season; but politics and unfair treatment of the court is giving the camp fears that the request might be rejected.

This reporter reminded Lambino that the courts once decided in favor of Arroyo, especially during the times that she wanted treatment overseas. The lawyer just brushed away the topic and told us to stick to the issue at hand, which was the request of the use of fireworks.

When asked for the scope or details of the said request, Lambino stated that they are asking whether Arroyo’s grandchildren could bring in trumpets or torotos to celebrate new year, as these would make them happy. As for the former first couple, the lawyer said that former First Gentleman Mike Arroyo prefers the Super Lolo while the Congresswoman Gloria Arroyo prefers Goodbye Philippines. He went on to add that the couple would also enjoy Goodbye Earth, if the price is right and if the courts would allow it.

When asked what they would do if the lower court denies their request, Lambino said that they would bring it up to the Supreme Court, where they are sure that the SC would allow Goodbye Philippines as per before.

Sensing the irony in his answers, Lambino went to change the topic, “Ah, eh, ikaw ano hilig nyong paputok? (Um, how about you, what’s your favorite firecracker?)”


2 thoughts on “Arroyo to Ask Court’s Permission to Allow Her to Use Firecrackers

What did you think about this SATIRICAL article? Share your thoughts below.

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s