MANILA, Philippines — It would seem that Attorney Ferdinand Topacio would be joining the Arroyos on their scheduled flight this Thursday.
In a an investigation conducted by SWN, we have uncovered a booking order apparently made by Topacio for flights to Singapore on the same day as the embattled former first couple. Aside from Singapore, Topacio is also scheduled to visit Spain, Germany, US and Turkey. Reports that he would also not return to the country are false, as all his bookings have return flights back to Manila.
When asked to explain over the phone of the sudden developments, the trending lawyer on Twitter revealed that he would also seek medical attention in the aforementioned countries. “I have to undergo an operation that has never been done before in the Philippines. It is a testicular transplant that would add an extra set of testes to my body,” said the lawyer.
In an television interview, the lawyer made a statement that he would be willing to cut his “ball” if the Arroyos are not sincere in their promise to face their legal problems. His statement earned comments from internet users making the hashtag #itlognitopacio trending on social networking site Twitter.
Malacañang for it’s part was quick to offer their comments regarding the matter. Presidential Spokesman Edwin Lacierda issued a statement saying that Atty. Topacio found out after he made his famous comments that the Arroyos would NOT return to the country to face charges. “That is why he booked those flights to get an operation. So that when the public demands that he cut off one of his balls, he would still have 2 left,” said Lacierda.
Department of Justice Secretary Leila De Lima offered a more scheming twist regarding the “balls” issues. She said “This may be a plan of the Arroyos to seek support from the masses for them to not return. They want the Filipino people to clamor the government to allow them not to return, because they believe that a country would rather see a man cut off one of his balls than see an alleged corrupt official face charges that would drag on for years.