Arroyo to PNoy: Thanks For The Heads-Up

[BREAKING NEWS] PAMPANGA, Philippines — After President Benigno Aquino III announced today that his administration would be filing charges against former President and now Pampanga Rep. Gloria Macapagal Arroyo by November, the former President has nothing but sweet words for the incumbent President.

In a phone interview, Mrs. Arroyo told us that after she heard of the news from her legal team about the President’s announcement, she immediately felt a tingling sensation on her back.


She said she suddenly felt pain on her spine again and she thinks that she needs another operation. One where she might be place under quarantine, away from the prying eyes of the media external germs that would hamper her recovery.

“I wouldn’t be surprised if the doctors here in our country recommends that I seek a second opinion from doctors from other countries where there are no extradition treaties  abundant of bright and experience doctors that would help me health-wise”, said Arroyo. “I don’t know why my illness keeps popping-up every time there are developments regarding the cases filed by this administration against me.”

This will not be the first time that GMA would undergo an operation on her spine. The last time she went under the knife coincidentally, was when President Aquino appointed a new Ombudsman. The public has not heard from her again until now.

To end the interview, Mrs. Arroyo said “I am thankful for Noynoy for his decency to warn a sick woman of the evil deeds that he and his administration plans to do to me. I hope you bring flowers…”

GMA’s son, Rep. Mikey Arroyo for his part, got irate at the announcement. “How come my mother was given an advanced warning and not for me and my wife?! How is that fair?!

The younger Arroyo was referencing the tax evasion case filed against him and his wife, Angela by the Bureau of Internal Revenue. Yesterday, the couple posted bail before the Court on Tax Appeals and debunked speculations that they would flee the country. The couple posted a total of P200,000 or P60,000 for Mikey and P140,000 for Angela specifically.

“This is from our hard earned money we are talking about here,” said Mr. Arroyo. “I worked so hard being the representative of Ang Galing Pinoy, to which we represent their interests as security guards. How much do you think a security guard earns per day, let alone their representative in Congress?!”

With the announcement of the President regarding the filing of charges by November, this gives the Arroyo camp 18 days to come up with an illness or a rebuttal to dispel some heat. We suggest using the Arroyo wealth to fund a massive cloud seeding campaign to intensify the power of typhoon Ramon. That should keep this administration busy and on their toes.


4 thoughts on “Arroyo to PNoy: Thanks For The Heads-Up

  1. Pingback: Arroyo to PNoy: Thanks For The Heads-Up « So, What's News? | Pnoy Talks

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