China Unveils the Real iPhone 5.

BEIJING, China – Following the disappointing announcement of the iPhone 4S and the recent passing of Apple co-founder Steve Jobs, Chinese manufacturers and traders have officially announced the release of it’s version of iPhone 5 dubbed AiPhone 5.

In a low key event, the infamous device made it’s debut encased in a solid, see-through plastic case to protect it from eager fans of the device. After a brief drum roll, a Chinese man dressed in a black long sleeved shirt emerged from the curtains. He introduced himself as Mr. Pee Lee Na and then went to  grabbed the device from the case. With a heavy Chinese accent, he started the presentation:

“This is AiPhone 5. It is sleek, stylish and as you can see, vely egonomic.” He added, “We have made a lot of improvements for this iteration and I think people would be vely suplise with the final product.”

A slideshow for the specs of the phone was shown to everybody present and we were able to jot them down. These includes:

  • Triple-core processor – 27 times more faster than the original AiPhone 
  • 5 pixel VGA camera at the back with semi-auto-focus technology
  • Monochrome camera on the front for video calling
  • Newest version of the AiOS with more  responsive touch control
  • First ever Dual Quad-Sim™ for multi-network operator users
  • 168GB on-board memory for saving millions billions of VGA photos
  • Built-in Poodle Map powered by China’s leading search engine BaiDu
  • Virtual Incense™ app pre-installed
  • Cook With Wok With Yan app pre-installed
  • Includes 3 Extra Batteries for a full day of operation
  • Radio and TV tuner – built in stylus attaches on top for antenna purposes – never miss an episode of Boys Over Flowers anymore!
  • Multiple file support: jpg, pdf, bmp, mp3, mp4, mp5 and introducing, mp6!
  • And many more hidden features if and when we release future updates for AiOS

The presentation drew a huge applause from the crowd as it was announced that the device would be available to Christmas shoppers around the world and will be released on November 11, 2011. “We couldn’t think of a better date to release it than on 11.11.11.” Mr. Pee ended the presentation by saying “Chinese superstition says that this date will bring good ruck and hamony to eveybody.”

Stay with SWN for the latest news on AiPhone 5 as soon we get closer to it’s release date.

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This article is dedicated to a great innovator who passed away the other day. Rest in peace Steve Jobs.

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