MANILA, Philippines — Malacañang has just announced TV personality Eugenio Abunda Jr. or more famously know as Boy Abunda; to head up the newly formed Bureau of Authority on Dams & Irrigation for National Good.
According to Executive Order 71, the newly created government agency will monitor, control and coordinate with the Philippine Atmospheric, Geophysical and Astronomical Services Administration (PAGASA) and the National Disaster Risk Reduction and Management Council (NDRRMC), to ensure the safety of the people via efficient control of our dams.
The creation of a governing body to handle the dams around the country have been brought up in the recent senate hearings where a PAGASA representative pitched the idea. This after typhoon Pedring brought floods and with the timing of the release of water from certain dams added to the volume of water that caused people to lose their homes.
In a press conference held at Malacañang’s press room, Presidential Spokesman Edwin Lacierda had this to say: “It is with great pride that we present to you Secretary Abunda as the new head of the Bureau of Authority on Dams & Irrigation for National Good. We believe that he is the right fit for the job at hand and we have great confidence with regards to his work ethics.”
After the introduction, the press was given a tour at the newly built office for the agency. It was equipped with display monitors showing different water levels as well as various intercommunication devices. These are to be used to coordinate with other government agencies. What caught the eye of the media was the presence of a huge switch among the dam’s control that seemed tailor made for Secretary Abunda. When asked if they spend a lot of taxpayer’s money customizing the switch, Mr. Lacierda was quick to defend the newly appointed secretary, saying ” He requested for it saying that it is imperative that we have it for him to be efficient at his job.”
An insider mole let slip a plan on how the newly appointed secretary wishes to releases the water on the dams when the time comes. “Ayon po kay Sec, pagkaswitch daw po nya na eh sisigaw po sya ng TUBIG…….. LABAZZZZ!!! Para daw po dramatic at bongga.” (According to Sec, when he turns the switch, he wil shout TUBIG…….. LABAZZZZ!!! So that it will be dramatic and bonggacious.)
Boy Abunda will vacate his post as newscaster on the evening news show Bandila where he just recently joined other mainstays. A search for a replacement is currently ongoing for Abunda’s slot.