Lolong – Newest Member of Kapamilya Network

BREAKING NEWS: ABS-CBN network welcomes it’s newest Kapamilya!

At a press conference held the other day, it was announced that they will fully support and sponsor the captured giant crocodile from Agusan, giving it the screen name Buwayaz . Mr. Lopez was heard saying: “$iya’y $iguradong magbibigay karangalan $a ating ban$a…” (“it’ll $urely bring honor to thi$ country…”)

Product endorsements and teleserye guestings are already lined up including spots on Wansapanatym and MMK. This early, a spin-off to the reality show The Biggest Loser is already being cooked up. This time, participants of the show are other giant reptiles accomplishing the same goal of losing the highest percentage of weight to win the grand prize.

Rumor has it that a certain “tubby” politician is being eyed as host for the new offshoot show.

Stay tuned for more details.


One thought on “Lolong – Newest Member of Kapamilya Network

  1. Pingback: So What’s Satire? | Juan Malaya

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