nancy_binay

Nancy Binay Accidentally Signs Subcommittee Report Recommending Plunder Charges Against Dad

MANILA, Philippines  — Saying that the testimonies and evidence on allegations of corruption against whoever it was the Senate Blue Ribbon was investigating at the moment were “irrefutable”, Senator Nancy Binay accidentally signed the subcommittee report recommending plunder charges against the former mayor of Makati, not knowing it was her father, Vice President Jejomar Binay, all along.…

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SWS Poll: 99.99% of Filipinos Consider Themselves ‘Poorer’ After Learning About Binay’s Wealth

MANILA, Philippines — A recent survey conducted by Soshal Network Stations (SWS) estimated that around 98.69 million Filipinos, or almost the entirety of the Philippines, considered themselves poorer after knowing about the recently revealed wealth of Vice President Jejomar Binay that he allegedly amassed. The SWS poll found that 99.99 percent of respondents now considered themselves a notch or two…

e-pass

House OKs Bill Renaming Electronic Toll Collection Systems After Kris Aquino & Son Bimby

MANILA, Philippines — A bill renaming the electronic toll collection systems for both the North Luzon Expressway (NLEX) and the South Luzon Expressway (SLEX) to Presidential sister Kris Aquino and her son Bimby Aquino-Yap, Jr.,  has been passed at the committee-level at the House of Representatives. The bill seeks to rename the existing E-Pass system for SLEX to the…

pacmay

Team Pacquiao Blames Netizens for Loss to Floyd Mayweather

LAS VEGAS, USA — Only hours after blaming an injured shoulder for the loss to Floyd Mayweather, Manny Pacquiao’s camp aimed their sights on social media, particularly the netizens; blaming the latter for not supporting Pacquiao enough for him to win the fight. “As much as we would like to thank the Filipinos for tweeting their message…

avengers

Journalist Apologizes Again For Blocking Everyone’s View During ‘Avengers: Age Of Ultron’ Screening

MANILA, Philippines — Broadcast journalist Boris Bigornia issued another public apology for her unusual behavior during a recent screening of the ‘Avengers: Age of Ultron’ movie. Bigornia released a statement on Facebook after reports about her alleged misbehavior during the movie screening held yesterday, April 22, went viral. “Today, I am breaking my silence to air my side and…

Le divorce

Wives of Anti-Divorce Senators to File Annulment Case Against Their Self-Serving Husbands

MANILA, Philippines — Saying that the reason they are in favor of legalizing divorce in the Philippines is to use it against their husbands in the first place; members of the Association of Women with Abhorrently Stupid and Self-Serving Senators as their Asawas (AWASSSSA) plan to file annulment against their lawmaker husbands for publicly opposing the divorce law.…

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PNoy Stunt Double to Issue Formal Public Apology

MANILA, Philippines — The Palace has issued a casting call for actors who share a striking resemblance with President Benigno Aquino III , to place in a dramatic speech scene that will be shot inside Malacañang. Presidential casting director Rica Randang is looking for attractive male talents, ages 50 – 55 to play the role of the president…