After Anti-Planking, Lawmaker Proposes Anti-Angry Birds Bill.

MANILA, Philippines – Quezon City Rep. Winston Castelo did not rest on his laurels. After proposing House Bill 5316 or the anti-planking bill, the lawmaker is proposing House Bill 5379 or the anti-angry birds bill.

The distinguished gentleman from Quezon City explained that he got the idea for the bill when he went shopping for Christmas gifts the other day at a mall. “Everywhere I looked, Angry Birds this, Angry Birds that! Where is the product diversity? Shouldn’t the DTI be monitoring this?” said Castelo. He added “…this is why this bill is even more important than my own anti-planking bill. I hope that my colleagues here at Batasan will support this bill.”

Rep. Castelo denied allegations that his proposal is similar to House Bill 4509 or anti-dildo bill, filed last May by Buhay partylist. “It’s a different kind of bird, very different from mine!”

An eyewitness said that Rep. Castelo went shopping at the famous 168 Mall in Divisoria last Saturday and got annoyed when all he saw were Angry Birds themed items. “Naghahanap po sya ng mga regalo para sa mga inaanak nya. Kaso po nung makita nyang panay may nakadikit na Angry Birds ang paninda namin, eh dun na po sya nag walk-out” (He was looking for gifts for his godchildren. But he walked-out when he saw that all our products had Angry Bird stickers on them) said a vendor who met Castelo.

PETA members protesting against the Angry Birds game.

This is not the first time that the popular IOS game (also available on Windows & Android) was in the news. Just last month, the People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals or PETA staged a protest denouncing the premise of the game. They said: “we are influencing our children into thinking that killing pigs and destroying their homes is ok. It is not!” Another PETA meber said that “if we think that demolishing the shanties around the Metro is inhumane and against human rights, what do you think these green pigs feel when a bird destroys their fortresses. Those swines has feelings and rights too!”

House Bill 5379 or the anti-angry birds bill aims to monitor the diversity, quality and quantity of items bearing the angry birds likeness. According to the draft, a stall shall have no more than two kinds of the said birds emblazoned on it’s items. Items under the scope of the bill, includes but is not limited to: cups, mugs, pens, crayons, stickers, underwear, t-shirts, lingerie, cellphone accessories, plush dolls, action figures, books, spoon & forks, plates, caps, children’s toys, pins, clothing accessories, hair accessories, pants, shorts, watches, flash drives, wrist straps, pillows, candies, and stationary items among others. Items not stated above but bears semblance or similarity to the Angry Birds franchise are subject to the law as well.

Violators to this law will be sentenced to 6 months solitary confinement to a special facility called “The Angry Birds Room”  inside the New Bilibid Prison. The room will be composed of an Angry Birds toilet,sink, tissue paper & soap, as well as walls painted with scenes from the game. Eating utensils for the inmate will also come standard with the said designs. Vendors who are found guilty are also subject to the confiscation of the prohibited items which will then be burned or donated to “The Angry Birds Room”.

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Tagged: Anti-Angry Birds Bill, Planking, Rep. Castelo

Posted in: The Nation