MMDA: Pedring to Bring Floods to Metro. Also, The Earth is Round and Sugar is Sweet.

GUADALUPE, Makati — MMDA Chairman Francis Tolentino issued a warning to the public that tropical storm Pedring will bring floods to the Metro and surrounding areas.

Together with PAGASA in a press conference held at the MMDA headquarters, the agency head said that Pedring had intensified  and will make landfall by Tuesday. “Expect heavy flooding and traffic around the metro as Pedring will bring heavy rains and thunderstorms,” the chairman announced.

When asked by a reporter why they always give similar statements amidst incoming typhoons, the MMDA was quick to point out that it has been the norm and the public is always expecting them to issue these kinds of warning. “The public deserves the warning that we are not doing our jobs to alleviate the flooding and traffic situation around the city. Since Ondoy, we have not done anything whatsover to show the public that there are improvements regarding this matter. Besides, what other government agency issues statement like ours that admits them as to not doing their job? And we even do this frequently, like twice a month if its the rainy season, not just occasionally,” said Tolentino who obviously got irked by the question.

He added: “I know it’s obvious! But give us credit for admitting our incompetency and mistakes! You don’t tell us what to do, because even if you do, we obviously are not going to do it as well. So take it or leave it!”

After the press conference, our office received notification that the Department of Energy as well as the Department of Trade and Industry announced it’s own separate press conference to be held tomorrow. Both government agencies will announce price increases on gas prices and local commodities respectively.

We called DOE secretary Jose Almendras for comments and he had this to say: “We applaud Chairman Tolentino and his office for the courage and guts they had in warning the public of their incompetence. But I would like to remind everyone that we have been doing this also, since like, forever. Duh.”

“What do you call our twice weekly announcement of oil price hike and increase in electricity charges? I think if there was an incompetent agency, it would be us! The MMDA and Mr. Tolentino is trying to steal the spotlight of incompetency away from us and we would not be taking this one lying down.” Before hanging up, Mr. Almendras, in a threatening voice said: “How’s this for one-upmanship? Expect oil price increase tonight at midnight!”

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