finalist_TAWCP April 15, 2014
naia April 14, 2014

CBCP to Celebrate Supreme Court’s RHLaw Ruling with “Fuckapalooza”

April 8, 2014

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fuckapalooza

MANILA, Philippines — The Catholic Bigots and Chauvinists of the Philippines (CBCP) headed by Fr. Calvin Castro of CBCP’s Konsumisyon of Family and Life announced today that they are celebrating the historical ruling of the Supreme Court, declaring the RH Law constitutional via a grand event called “Fuckapalooza”. The Supreme Court (SC) unanimously declared the Reproductive […]

Construction Starts on Hospital’s VIP Rooms in Anticipation for Senators Getting Sick

April 2, 2014

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cardinal

MANILA, Philippines – After the Office of the Ombudsman found probable cause to file graft and plunder charges against three senators allegedly involved in the pork barrel scam, construction work has started at top hospitals around Metro Manila for their respective VIP rooms in anticipation for embattled politicians getting sick. Senators Juan Ponce Enrile, Jinggoy Estrada, and […]

“Good luck with China.” Obama to Sever Defense Ties with Philippines

April 1, 2014

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obama

WASHINGTON, DC — In a historic move overturning decades of allied diplomacy, the United States of America will rescind the Mutual Defense Treaty between the country and the Philippines. Speaking on the condition of anonymity, a senior high-level official at the White House revealed that it was “in America’s strategic interests” to allocate more forces […]

Apple Unveils “iFridge” Refrigerators

April 1, 2014

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iFridge-line

CUPERTINO, California — Tech giant Apple announced today that they would be entering the lucrative home appliances market in front of thousands of fans; receiving cheers and applause as Chief Executive Tim Cook revealed a slew of products to hit the market soon. Cook unveiled the iFridge, a state-of-the-art iOS refrigerator powered by the A7 processor for the […]

Israel Prime Minister Vows to Return Senator Bong Revilla to the Philippines

March 31, 2014

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bennett

JERUSALEM, Israel — Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu assured Filipinos that his country will return embattled senator Ramon “Bong” Revilla, after the latter departed for the Holy Land with his family Saturday, March 29 to seek “divine intercession”. Israel’s Minister for Religious Affairs Naftali Bennett read the statement prepared by Netanyahu to the press amid allegations that Revilla was fleeing the Philippines […]

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